WWE Raw · Season 1
[Val Venis is in the ring for his Holiday Topless Top Rope match against Hardcore Holly]
Hello Ladies!! You know something, ladies, you are a lot like Christmas trees. You know, you smell good. You're pretty to look at, but you never really feel special until I [makes thrusting motion] PLUG IT IN and light you up!
[Triple H and Stephanie McMahon gloat over him defeating Cactus Jack at the Royal Rumble, but Big Show complains to them about The Rock's cheating him out of the finish of the Royal Rumble, which would have gained him a WWF Championship match against HHH at WrestleMania]
Show me the proof and it's yours. [The Rock's entrance music kicks in and he appears]
Finally, The Rock has come back to Philadelphia! Triple H, The Rock says this - seeing as he just won the Royal Rumble, it officially makes your days as the WWF Champion, numbered. Translation, at WrestleMania, The Rock is just gon' kick your monkey ass. [to Big Show as crowd chants "Rocky!"] Now, onto you. Seven feet, five hundred pounds of whinin' bitchin' moanin' [mock whining] 'Oh The Rock's feet touched the ground first [normal voice] well The Rock says it doesn't MATTER if The Rock's feet touched the ground first! The Rock says this, it doesn't matter if The Rock's feet touched the ground, it doesn't matter where The Rock's feet touched, the ground, the mat, or straight up your big fat candyass! This ain't the NFL - there is no instant replay - the only thing that matters RIGHT NOW is The Rock has won the Royal Rumble, The Rock is going to WrestleMania, and The Rock stands before [points at the people in the ring] you, and you, and even you - the People's Champion.
You know, Show, seems that uh, you and I seem to have a little common problem. To be that jackass up there with the big ego - seems to be a common thorn on our sides. So I'll tell ya what - tonight - you and I, we're gonna team up and we're gonna get in the ring... against The Rock and a partner of your choosing. That is, if - you can go in the back and find one of those - what do you call 'em, Rock, jabronies? - that you like to put down so much. If you can get one of those jabronies to pal up with you, be your friend, and tag with you, then you got yourself a deal. If not, if one of those jabronies WON'T tag with you, then [to Big Show] you and I we're gonna have ourselves a little handicap match with The Rock.
Well, The Rock says this - if there is someone in the back who wants to team with The Rock, then that's fine... The Rock doesn't need it, The Rock doesn't want it. The Rock says this, against you and you, two-on-one against the Great One means this, is one way or the other, come hell or high water, bet your candyasses you will smell what The Rock is [points to them] cookin'.
[JR and the King talk about the tag team championship match between Al Snow and Steve Blackman against the New Age Outlaws, but JR notices Al Snow going down to one section of the front row]
[sees Snow greet some people who just came down] Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Hey, wait a minute! My God, that's... that's Chris Benoit and Eddie Guerrero, Perry Saturn, Dean Malenko!
What are they doing here tonight?
What the hell is going on here? Those four guys... Well, King, we know it's all over the Internet they thumbed their noses at their last employer!
Well, I know that. They walked out on that Ted Turner organization, but what are they doing here?
I know the WWF's been negotiating with those four superstars, but they've not signed any contracts that I'm aware of.
Well, they haven't signed any contracts yet, so maybe they're just here to... They're just sitting at ringside, maybe they're here to get a bird's-eye view of the competition.
Well, all I'd say that's a pretty radical strategy on their part, wouldn't you think? It was radical enough that they walked out on their last employer because it was a lousy place to be, in their opinion.
Well that was...
...and showing up here unannounced is nothing short of radical either.
[The Rock is on the TitanTron after Big Show just defeated 2Cool]
Finally, the Rock has come BACK to Pittsburgh! Big Show, The Rock realizes what just took place, The Rock realizes that you won a hard-fought victory, well congratulations, but The Rock has but one thing to say to you: [singsong] somebody got a haircut!! [Big Show angrily stomps his feet] So that officially means Big Show that you're no longer a long-haired, seven-feet, 500-pound piece of monkey crap, no you are not. You are a SHORT-HAIRED seven-feet, 500-pound piece of steaming, stinking, grade-A monkey crap!!! Now Big Show, you want to run your month about how you've got an eyewitness to The Rock's feet hitting the ground at the Royal Rumble, well The Rock says this: He is tired of hearing you whine. The Rock is tired of hearing you bitch, the Rock is tired of hearing you cry and moan like a baby but there is something that the Rock wants [open palm and points at Big Show] you to listen to... and that is the most important sound you will ever hear in your pathetic life, and that is all the Rock's fans chanting his name! [audience responds with Rocky! chants] Now Big Show, seeing as you've heard the sound, The Rock says, go back to Supercuts and get your five dollars back, jabroni!! Now on to our Olympic hero, Kurt Angle. Kurt Angle the Rock says this you run your mouth about how you beat the Rock. The Rock says you have never - and The Rock means [audience joins for the word] NEVER!! Ever beaten the Rock, so the Rock says this quite simply put, the Rock says that tonight, you like to wear your gold medals, well the Rock says this, he's gonna go out there and win a gold medal for kicking your candy ass all over Pittsburgh! If you SMEEEELLLLL, What the Rock is Cooking!
[Cactus Jack faces Triple H and proposes a Hell in the Cell at No Way Out]
Hell in the Cell? All right - Hell in the Cell, you got a deal - but one stipulation.
You name it.
I will go through Hell in the Cell with you - BUT I WANT YOUR CAREER ON THE LINE. If I beat you at Hell in the Cell, you are finished. You retire. Your career is over, and that means YOU, Mick Foley, which includes Dude Love, which includes Mankind, which includes Cactus Jack - you are finished - you are done - it is OVER.
So you want my career - you want my career! Well, let's talk about my career for just a minute. You know what I have done, Triple H, in my career? I have done it all! Three-time WWF Champion - eight times WWF tag team champion! The original Hardcore Champion! And the King of the Japanese Death Match! So I tell you once again Triple H - you want my career? I have done it all except for one thing - in 15 years that I have dedicated my life to this sport there is only one thing that keeps me awake at night and that is - I have never main-evented a WrestleMania in my life. So you want my career? I'm going to add one more stipulation... if I win - when I win - at Hell in the Cell - you put your title on the line, because if I can't beat you, I don't deserve - no no no, if I can't beat you, I do not WANT to ever wrestling again! But when I do, you look at me and make damn sure you understand - there will be no ridiculous stipulations - no title defenses - that's it! I win! I go to WrestleMania - and you sit home - I WIN - I take on the winner of the Big Show and the Rock... in the greatest show in our industry. You accept my stipulation, then you're damn right, I will put my entire 15-year career on the line.
Cactus Jack, at No Way Out - Hell in the Cell - you will face The Game. And if you win, you will go to WrestleMania the World Wrestling Federation champion - the main event. But if I win, I will end your 15-year career. I will end your career, and it will be over. Cactus Jack, you have... 20, about 20 days - left in your glorious 15-year career - because at Hell in the Cell, I will finish what I've started. At Hell in the Cell, Cactus Jack, I will end it - for you. But Cactus - I take what I want, when I want it - and right now, I want a piece o' your ass. [Triple H come to the ring and addresses the Radicalz] Now, the four of you have got two choices - you can either get your asses out of this ring and save yourselves a beatin', or you can show your appreciation to the man that gave you the opportunity... to the man that gave you your contracts. [the Radicalz assault Cactus Jack. X-Pac does a Bronco Buster and Perry Saturn and Dean Malenko suplex Cactus as a setup for Chris Benoit's diving headbutt] Cactus - that is the beginning of the end. Twenty days, count them, relish them - because in 20 days - it is The End! [pedigrees Cactus]
Rock, based on your actions of earlier tonight, Shane and Stephanie have placed you inside a steel cage against Chris Benoit. [crowd chants Rocky!]
Finally, The Rock has come back to Springfield! Shane and Stephanie, you think The Rock was just gonna sit here in the back and not reacquaint The Big Show and Triple H with their old friend, the Rock Bottom? You think The Rock was gonna do that, and did you think for one single solitary second that you solved all your problems by placing The Rock inside of a steel cage against Chris Benoit? Well The Rock says this, tonight, make no mistake about it. The Rock likes the steel cage. The Rock loves the steel cage. And The Rock says this. The Rock says this. The Rock has no hidden agenda. The Rock's agenda is open for the world to see. The Rock hides nothing, unlike you, Shane, Stephanie, Big Show, all of ya! The Rock realizes you probably got a hidden agenda for tonight's match. The Rock realizes that. But make no mistake about it, The Rock has nothing to hide. The only thing that The Rock is gonna hide tonight is The Rock's boot turned sideways, straight up Chris Benoit's candyass! If ya smell...what The Rock is cookin'!
Man that's gonna be a war right here live tonight inside the steel cage, The Rock and Chris Benoit.
[to Triple H] So you're telling me, Triple H, that I have to give up the World Wrestling Federation title because that match never took place? You're telling me that I have to give up the World Wrestling Federation title because these Jericho-holics never saw me beat you in the middle of that ring for this championship? Well, I guess we can all believe that. So I guess it's also not true that your wife Stephanie has not slept with half the boys in that locker room. [Stephanie coldly glares at him] I guess that we can't believe that either.
[Earl Hebner has reversed Chris Jericho's pinfall win over Triple H and gave him back the WWF Championship per an agreement on Triple H never laying a hand on him while he's still a referee]
I'm a man of my word, Earl. I will not lay a hand on you as long as you're a World Wrestling Federation referee. Oh and by the way: YOUR ASS IS FIRED! [does the Pedigree on Earl]
[the McMahon-Helmsley Regime goes to the ring after Linda McMahon announces Stone Cold Steve Austin coming to Backlash]
Unfair, mom? You wanna know what's unfair is you hopping on a little plane... [angry at Slut! chants] hopping on a little plane, thinkging you can come down to this ring, to the World Wrestling Federatiton and start making decisions on things you know nothing about!
Oh yes I do, yes I can!
In case you haven't forgotten the last we were in the ring together, mother, the McMahon-Helmsley Regime has no problem "slapping" people around, and hopefully you've noticed that the McMahon-Helmsley Regime is all about opportunity - so I'm gonna give you the opportunity to change your mind. Think about it, mother. What's your decision?
[long pause] NO!!!
No. You won't change your mind. You're gonna have Stone Cold Steve Austin in the Rock's corner. Well then, I'm not gonna change my mind about what I have to do, but Mom, just remember, like you told me when I was a little girl, this is gonna hurt me a lot worse than it hurts you. [tries to slap Linda, but gets knocked down when Linda blocks it and slaps her instead]
[shocked at what she just did, tries to crouch down and help Stephanie] Oh my God, I'm so sorry.
[dismisses her] Get away from me!!
[WWF CEO Linda McMahon has set up a six-man King of the Ring tagteam match between Vince McMahon, Shane McMahon, and Triple H against the Rock, Undertaker, and Kane. Vince fumes at the booking]
We accept, we accept! You think you're gonna embarrass me?!? Huh?!?! You think you can come out here and put me in a position where you're gonna embarrass me in front of all these people, that's not gonna happen! I don't give a damn what match you make at the King of the Ring, I don't care what match you make tonight, tomorrow night, or any other night!
Well, if that's the case, Vince, how about tonight? [let's sink in] If that's the case yeah, Triple H, you'll defend the World Wrestling Federation Championship... [as HHH seethes] against an opponent of my choosing.
[brushes off HHH's protests] That's it? You got it! Triple HHH defends his WWF title tonight, and okay he doesn't know who his opponent is. Even so, he'll do it even it's not fair and [points at her] you know damn well it's not!
Not fair? Well, if you don't think that's fair, you're probably not gonna like this either. Because there's another championship that needs to be defended tonight- and that championship is yours, Stephanie. [Stephanie reacts] Come on, Steph, you will defend the World Wrestling Federation Women's Championship against Lita [Steph mouths off NO!] - and pay very close attention to this, this is the stipulation: If any member of the Faction interferes in the match at all, you will be disqualified and Lita will be awarded the Championship.
[ponders the logic in the announcement] All right you got that too, I'm happy. Now you've made your announcements, Little Ms CEO, you can go back to playing CEO somewhere else, maybe where you started your day this morning in Wilmington, Delaware. [tries to walk off with Shane, Stephanie, and HHH]
Whoawhoawhoawhoa, Vince. [they look back at him] I don't play the CEO, I am the CEO. and as the CEO, I'll make this one final announcement tonight. Tonight, Shane McMahon will see action and also tonight, Vince McMahon will see action. And both Shane McMahon and Vince McMahon will team up in tag-team action against... the Dudley Boyz! [Father and son are dumbfounded] But it's not just any tag-team match. It's a Tables Match! [Shane walks off in disgust while Steph comforts a grimacing Vince]
[The Rock slams Kane and Chris Benoit as they and Kurt Angle leave him, Rikishi, Mick Foley, Triple H and Stephanie]
Whoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoa. The Rock is not done. You see, Mick Foley, the Rock is in a very giving mood as well. Now Kane, since you just wanna find things... Benoit, all you wanna do is prove things. Well, the Rock is gonna make both of you very happy men tonight. You see, before you and Kane face the Rock and Rikishi, the Rock wants you to do this - the Rock wants you to go find a very quiet place tonight. You two together, nobody else, you two by yourselves, go find a nice quiet place where you can be alone. And all your dreams can come true. All your dreams can come true - your dream, Kane, of finding things - your dream, Benoit, of proving things will come true, and this is how you do it: Benoit, when you're by yourself with Kane, pull your pants down [Benoit is blocked by the referees from coming down to the ring] go ahead Benoit, pull your pants down, and prove to Kane that you're not a woman!... and Kane, since you just wanna find things, you go ahead and find the penis Benoit claims he has! [Kane tries to go after the Rock, but the referees hold the line against him and Benoit]
[Triple H just asked Stephanie to steer clear of his WWF Championship No 1 contender match against Kurt Angle, but as Stephanie walks away, she surprisingly runs into Chris Benoit]
How's your head? [Stephanie gives him a hard slap]
Whoa! [Benoit turns his head right but he snaps back like not feeling the pain]
Good God! [sees Benoit laughing as Steph walks away] and Benoit's smiling... oh my God!
[Mick Foley is with the Rock and Rikishi in the ring]
I've come out here in the past, I made wild accusations, but that’s not going to happen tonight. I promised to deliver the person, who ran over Stone Cold Steve Austin, and I will! Fortunately, my announcement will conclude what has undoubtedly been the worst week of my professional career. Unfortunately, all of the evidence points to you, Rock. It was your rental car that ran down Stone Cold, only your fingerprints, only your DNA were found inside the car. Hell, a pair of The Rock's sunglasses were found inside the glove box. And as Linda McMahon herself stated, no one else had as much to gain by Stone Cold's departure, did they, Rock? No, with Stone Cold out of the way, who sold the T-shirts, who picked up the media appearences, whose book went to number one, who showed up on television, who got movie roles? You have not fooled me, Rock, and therefore right here in Anaheim, California, in the case of who ran over Stone Cold Steve Austin at Survivor Series, Mick Foley finds The Rock... not guilty!
But if you didn't do it, who did? Now I'm gonna tell you, who did. [points to Rikishi] He did. I hadn't quite figured it out until Scotty 2 Hotty said something about 'hang out backstage with Rikishi', hell, Rikishi, you weren't even part of Survivor Series, you hadn't even debuted on television! Who else is close enough with The Rock to go inside his dressing room? [Rikishi shakes head in denial] Who else is close enough with The Rock to reach inside his bag and get his keys? The mirrors and the seat were configured to fit not just a large man, but a very large man. That very large man is YOU! The only thing, I don't know, is why!
Okay. I did it. In case, you didn't hear, I admit. I did it. I ran over Austin. And you ask, why? I didn't do it for me. No, I didn't do it for me. I did it for... The Rock! [The Rock is surprised] You see, Rock, I took your keys out of your bag that night, when I went to go check into the hotel. And when I jumped into the car, I saw Stone Cold Steve Austin standing in the middle of the parking lot all alone. And suddenly, everything flashed right through my eyes.
You see, the WWF has always been all about the "Great White Hope"... and I'm talking about such people as Buddy Rogers, people like Bruno Sammartino, people like Bob Backlund, people like Hulk Hogan, and now, people like Stone Cold Steve Austin. You see, the WWF has always let the island boys in, but we were always held back! Now listen to me, Rock, and I really want you to listen to me! And I'm talking about people like your grandfather, a well-respected man, High Chief Peter Maivia, [Rock is visibly shaken at the mention] could have became a WWF Champion, but no, they held him back! People like Jimmy ‘Superfly’ Snuka, could have been a WWF Champion, but no, they held him back! And people like Afa and Sika, Samu, and the Tonga Kid, they were all held back.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's WWE Raw pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
