[Vince is bitterly angry that Austin crashed his WWF Championship awarding ceremony for the Undertaker and Kane]
Before I was so rudely interrupted, Undertaker and Kane, we were about to present the WWF Championship. However, if you recall, the deal was, Undertaker and Kane, you would get the title shot as long as you kept Stone Cold Steve Austin away from me. For three times, three times in less than a week, Austin has brutally attacked me!!
So let me say this, you didn't live up to your end of the deal, I'm not gonna live up to mine! [Undertaker glares at him]
What? What is he saying, J.R.?
You're gonna have to fight for it! On the next pay-per-view, October 18, you two are gonna battle it out for the WWF Championship...
Jim RossThat's at Judgment Day in three weeks...
MMcMahon
...whether you like it or not. And by the way, since you can't seem to keep Stone Cold out of your business and mine, good, I'm gonna put him in it. Austin is gonna be the guest referee.
Jim Ross
Oh my God in heaven.
Jim Ross
Austin will referee Kane and the Undertaker at Judgment Day.
MMcMahon
And Stone Cold, Austin, I just hope that somewhere, your cellmate is telling you all of this right about now, because I wanna be there to watch him suffer the indignity of having to count one of you two monsters to the WWF Championship.
MMcMahon
However, so that everyone in this arena is not cheated, so that everyone at home watching Raw gets their money's worth, that in this ring tonight, you will see Undertaker and Kane in a handicap tag-team match, against three individuals...
Jim Ross
Three?
MMcMahon
...Ken Shamrock, Mankind, and The Rock!
Jim Ross
Oh yeah! Shamrock, Mankind, The Rock against the Undertaker and Kane here tonight live.
MMcMahon
And maybe, just maybe you could get it right, I'd like to wish you the best of luck. You know why? I think you two are gonna need it because as far as I'm concerned, it's like dealing with the handicapped. One's physical [referring to Kane] and the other is mental [referring to Undertaker]. Good luck to you both.
[Undertaker grabs McMahon.]
You need to watch your ass, because the next time you get out of line with either one of us, you're gonna be the one handicapped, and that I will promise.
[Kane has just set up Mr. McMahon on the steel steps and Undertaker has the top two steps]
Jim Ross
Oh no, holding the ankle and the knee across the steps...Undertaker [sees Taker raising the steps] NO NO NO!! [Taker kayfabe smashes steps on McMahon's left shin] OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!!!! [Taker leaves Vince reeling from the pain] Vince McMahon's leg's gotta be shattered now!!
Don't move it, don't move it!
Jim Ross
McMahon writhing in pain, at the hands of the two men that will meet for the WWF title in the Rosemont Horizon at Judgment Day with Steve Austin as the referee!
[sad and concerned] How could this happen, J.R.? McMahon didn't mean it when he called them handicapped! CALL A DOCTOR!!!!
PPPat Patterson
[over JR's commentary as he helps Vince] ...I can't believe it, those dirty bastards, they BROKE HIS LEG! Get somebody out here!
Jim Ross
McMahon, McMahon needs an ambulance. Well, you better not move him! My God, what else can happen here?
[A cement truck appears.]
Jim Ross
What the hell is that?
Jim Ross
Is that...?
It's a cement truck, and it's Stone Cold Steve Austin driving it.
Jim Ross
Oh my. Stone Cold Steve Austin is in the building.
What is that idiot doing? We've seen him driving a Zamboni, now he's driving around a cement truck?
Jim Ross
Oh folks, this is going to get real interesting. The Rattlesnake is here. Is that going to make Mr. McMahon happy or not? We'll find out next.
[Steve Austin is driving a cement truck toward Vince McMahon's Corvette.]
Jim Ross
Wait a minute.
I knew it JR. He's trying to drive it right in here, then get ready to run. He'll run over us.
Jim Ross
Wait a minute, there's...
Hey, wait a minute, don't run over Mr. McMahon's Corvette.
Ross
I don't think he's... [sees Austin setting up the mixer's metal trough on the car] it doesn't look like he's going to run over it.
Ross
Oh my God, I don't believe this.
Ross
I do not believe this, ladies and gentlemen.
Mr. McMahon! Mr. McMahon!
Ross
That's one of the Corvettes in Mr. McMahon's collection.
That's a $50,000 car! No! J.R.! [cement mixture is poured into the car] NOOOO!
Ross
Oh my God! Oh my! Austin is loading McMahon's car with cement.
[watching it on the monitor] That's my Corvette!!!!
Ross
McMahon's car is being loaded with cement.
[The cement mix overflows, breaking the car's side and rear windows.]
Jim Ross
McMahon's prized Corvette, one of his collection, is being destroyed by the Rattlesnake.
Ross
The Rattlesnake has struck. [Austin leaves cement truck] And it looks like... Austin is coming our way.
Somebody call the cops!!!
Ross
Austin is heading our way. The Rattlesnake, will he be here next?
[During Undertaker's WWF Championship defense against the Big Show, Taker is caught in Big Show's chokeslam coming off the top rope]
Jim Ross
The Undertaker's on top, he got caught at the hand of the Big Show.
[as Big Show signals for the chokeslam] He said he was gonna do it- he's doing it!!
Ross
The chokeslam, [Undertaker breaks through the ring] oh-
Lawler and Ross: OH MY GOD!!!
Ross
Right through the ring!! The Big Show chokeslammed the Undertaker all the way to hell!
Ross
[as Earl Hebner calls for the bell] All the way through the ring! They're both down!!! The Big Show and the Undertaker are both down! [bell still rings as Big Show kicks Undertaker before leaving the hole] The match is over! The match has been stopped!
Ross
The ring has been destroyed...
Ross
...by the damndest chokeslam I've ever seen!
[Big Boss Man has interrupted the ten-bell salute for Big Show's father]
BBBig Boss Man
Hold on just one minute!
Jim Ross
What the hell does he want King?
BMBoss Man
How dare you start the grieving process without me? I've got feelings too! It pains me deeply to hear that the Big Show's dad has passed on. In fact it pains me so deeply I went out and bought a sympathy card, and I'd like to read it to you, if I could.
Ross
The disingenuous... [Boss Man gets the card]
Ross
No it isn't.
BMBoss Man
Shut up and listen to me. With the deepest regrets, and tears that are soaked, I'm sorry to hear your dad finally croaked. He lived a full life on his own terms. Soon he'll be buried and eaten by worms. But if I could have a son as stupid as you, I'd have wished for cancer so I would die too. So be brave and be strong. Get your life on track. 'Cause the old bastard's dead and he ain't never coming back!
Ross
I am not believing what we are hearing here.
BMBoss Man
That's exactly how I feel about the Big Show's daddy being dead!
[JR and the King talk about the tag team championship match between Al Snow and Steve Blackman against the New Age Outlaws, but JR notices Al Snow going down to one section of the front row]
Jim Ross
[sees Snow greet some people who just came down] Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Hey, wait a minute! My God, that's... that's Chris Benoit and Eddie Guerrero, Perry Saturn, Dean Malenko!
What are they doing here tonight?
JJim
What the hell is going on here? Those four guys... Well, King, we know it's all over the Internet they thumbed their noses at their last employer!
Well, I know that. They walked out on that Ted Turner organization, but what are they doing here?
JJim
I know the WWF's been negotiating with those four superstars, but they've not signed any contracts that I'm aware of.
Well, they haven't signed any contracts yet, so maybe they're just here to... They're just sitting at ringside, maybe they're here to get a bird's-eye view of the competition.
JJim
Well, all I'd say that's a pretty radical strategy on their part, wouldn't you think? It was radical enough that they walked out on their last employer because it was a lousy place to be, in their opinion.
JJim
...and showing up here unannounced is nothing short of radical either.
Rock, based on your actions of earlier tonight, Shane and Stephanie have placed you inside a steel cage against Chris Benoit. [crowd chants Rocky!]
Finally, The Rock has come back to Springfield! Shane and Stephanie, you think The Rock was just gonna sit here in the back and not reacquaint The Big Show and Triple H with their old friend, the Rock Bottom? You think The Rock was gonna do that, and did you think for one single solitary second that you solved all your problems by placing The Rock inside of a steel cage against Chris Benoit? Well The Rock says this, tonight, make no mistake about it. The Rock likes the steel cage. The Rock loves the steel cage. And The Rock says this. The Rock says this. The Rock has no hidden agenda. The Rock's agenda is open for the world to see. The Rock hides nothing, unlike you, Shane, Stephanie, Big Show, all of ya! The Rock realizes you probably got a hidden agenda for tonight's match. The Rock realizes that. But make no mistake about it, The Rock has nothing to hide. The only thing that The Rock is gonna hide tonight is The Rock's boot turned sideways, straight up Chris Benoit's candyass! If ya smell...what The Rock is cookin'!
Jim Ross
Man that's gonna be a war right here live tonight inside the steel cage, The Rock and Chris Benoit.
[Triple H just asked Stephanie to steer clear of his WWF Championship No 1 contender match against Kurt Angle, but as Stephanie walks away, she surprisingly runs into Chris Benoit]
How's your head? [Stephanie gives him a hard slap]
Whoa! [Benoit turns his head right but he snaps back like not feeling the pain]
Jim Ross
Good God! [sees Benoit laughing as Steph walks away] and Benoit's smiling... oh my God!
[Triple H has seemingly saved Stone Cold Steve Austin, replacing The Rock as his tag team partner against Kurt Angle and Rikishi]
Jim Ross
Stone Cold's got Rikishi. [Austin knocks Rikishi onto the apron] And Rikishi knocked to the apron with a right hand.
Ross
Triple H standing there and -- [Triple H suddenly hits Austin with a sledgehammer] MY GOD! OH MY GOD TRIPLE H JUST HIT AUSTIN IN THE FACE WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER!
Ross
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!
I'm in shock and I don't know it -- what are you doing?!
Ross
The Game didn't come out here to help Austin! Triple H is putting on a black,
Ross
A black glove, what is that?
What does that mean? [Triple H sucker punches Austin]
Ross
In the head with a sledgehammer! [Triple H starts repeatedly punching Austin] And now The Game assaulting the Texas Rattlesnake!
Look out! Look at this! Get help! Someone get out here!
Ross
My God in heaven! Why is this happening?! Triple H is beating the holy hell out of Stone Cold Steve Austin!
I can't believe what I'm seeing!
Ross
Austin almost beheaded by that sledgehammer! And why in the hell is,
Look out! [Triple H hits the referee]
Ross
Damn, Triple H just took out the referee!
What is he doing? What is this about? What is this for?!
Ross
What the hell is the meaning of this?! Austin is, Austin is helpless! Austin got hit in the head with a sledgehammer! Why is The Game attempting to dis -- [Rikishi gets on the second rope] No! Don't do it! [Rikishi delivers a Banzai Drop on Austin] Oh! Right into Austin's heart! I swear to God that'll stop your heart! Right here in Texas, Austin has been destroyed by The Game, but why? Someone tell me why, damn it?! [Triple H hits Austin with a microphone]
Ross
What the hell is this?!
Austin, your search is over. It's all, it's all over. Now you know, you dumb son of a bitch.
Ross
What the hell did he mean by that?!
It was Triple H! It was Triple H!
Ross
In Austin, in Stone Cold's home state of Texas, in the home of WrestleMania, Stone Cold has been destroyed, has been left battered and bloodied and hammered at the hands of The Game and a sledgehammer!
Is Triple H the accomplice?!
Ross
Why Triple H? You son of a bitch! WHY?! TELL ME WHY?!
Jim Ross
Hello again, everybody, and welcome to the World Wrestling Federation. We're live here in D.C., I'm Jim Ross, and...
They already know who you are, so tell them who I am now.
Jim Ross
I'm joined by Paul Heyman.
You're joined by Paul Heyman, because last Tuesday night, The Kat was released by the WWF, and her husband Jerry "The King" Lawler, to his credit, walked out right alongside with her. But where there's chaos, J.R., there is opportunity. And tonight, just like TNN threw off ECW for the WWF, the King is gone, and in his chair is Paul E., and the E is for EXTREME! How's that? Not bad, huh?
Jim Ross
I don't know what I did to deserve this...
[Vince McMahon gloats over him buying WCW... but Shane appears, revealing that he's over at the WCW Nitro finale]
What's up Vince? Surprise Dad, you're in Cleveland, Ohio, and I'm here in Panama City Beach, Florida, standing in a WCW ring and as usual Dad, your ego has gotten the best of you. Your ego has gotten the best of you. I mean, Dad, you wanted to have the audacity to finalize this deal - WCW - at WrestleMania? You wanted to have the audacity to ask Ted Turner himself to come down and finalize that deal? Well, Dad, that's just the opportunity that I was looking for, because Dad, the deal is finalized with WCW and the name on the contract does say "McMahon." [WCW fans pop and Vince gulps] However, the contract reads, "Shane McMahon."
[Vince is openmouthed]
Jim Ross
[on commentary] Oh my God! I don't believe it!
That's right, Dad, I now own WCW! And Dad, just like WCW did in the past--how it kicked your ass in the past and it will again. That's exactly what's gonna happen to you this Sunday, at WrestleMania!
JJim
I can't believe what we have just heard! Shane McMahon has bought WCW! And Mr. McMahon is in absolute shock!
[During the Kane/Chris Jericho vs. Lance Storm/Mike Awesome.]
Jim Ross
Jericho's got the Walls! [Rob Van Dam and Tommy Dreamer enter from the crowd and attack Kane and Jericho, with Storm and Awesome joining in] Hey, wait a minute. What the hell? Hey, that's Rob Van Dam and Tommy Dreamer! They're former ECW guys!
Jim Ross
What the hell are they doing here? There's security; get these guys outta here! What the... what is this?! The 4-on-2, this... there's two WCW guys... Paul, what the hell is this about?
PPaul
You tell me. It's Rob Van Dam! RVD!
Jim Ross
Well, business is picking up here! Here comes the WWF backup! [Tazz, Raven, Rhyno, Justin Credible, and the Dudley Boyz enter the ringing facing off against RVD, Dreamer, Storm, and Awesome] And now business will change! The WWF guys are here!
PPaul
[pause] Yes, they are.
Jim Ross
The ring is full of WWF spirit!
PPaul
[as the six turn around towards Kane and Jericho] WOO! Feel it, JR! Feel this moment for the rest of your life! Feel it.
[All ten attack Kane and Jericho]
Jim Ross
Wait, what is this? What the hell is this?! My God, I don't believe this! It's 10 or 12-on-2! Why are the Dudleys, why are Tazz [sic] beating up their own teammates of the WWF?! And what are Tommy Dreamer and Rob Van Dam even doing here?! What the hell is this about?! What is this about?! Kane and Jericho are being decimated!
PPaul
Spicolli Driver by Tommy Dreamer!
Jim Ross
Paul, what in the hell is this about?! Kane... oh, come on! Kane being held by... what are these?
[Dreamer holds a chair in front of Kane's head, RVD delivers a spinning heel kick, better known as...]
PPaul
Oh, my God, it's the Van Daminator!
Jim Ross
"Van Damin..."? Damn it, Paul, what the hell is this about?!
PPaul
You want to know what this is about?!
Jim Ross
Yeah, I wanna know!
PPaul
I guess you want answers!
Jim Ross
I damn sure want answers!
PPaul
You want answers?! Well, I say you finally deserve, JR, a damn answer!
[Vince McMahon is shocked at the WCW and ECW groups seemingly together and mauling the WWF group]
Hey Dad, you want to know what is going on? Can't you see what is happening? I said I could never ever compete with your checkbook, but I can outsmart you and that's exactly what I've done tonight. That's exactly what we did tonight. You see Dad back in the locker room you told me that I will be personally responsible for everything that happens out here tonight. And you know what Dad, you're right. I'm personally responsible for all of this. I'm personally responsible for WCW. I am personally responsible for ECW being here tonight.
How do you like that Vince? HUH!? How do you like it now!?!?
And I am personally responsible for the MERGER of WCW and ECW coming together tonight! So, Dad, at Invasion, this new entity, WCW and ECW is gonna kick the WWF's ass! Oh yeah, I got one more thing for you, one more. And I am also personally responsible and privileged to introduce you to the new owner of ECW. I believe you know this person quite well. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up...for Vince's daughter Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley! [Vince reacts as Triple H's intro music "My Time" plays and slowly turns around to see Stephanie passing him]
Jim Ross
The new owner of WCW. Oh my God, Shane owns WCW and the princess, Vince's little baby girl, now owns ECW. For the love of God, the sins of the father are costing us all in the WWF! I do not believe this! July 9, 2001 - a date that will live in sports entertainment infamy!
Well, I suppose congratulations are in order for the WCW/ECW Alliance, for their victory at Invasion. I'd like to remind The Alliance, however, that victory was but one battle. I'm confident that we here in the World Wrestling Federation will win many battles and ultimately win the war.
Jim Ross
Damn right.
MMcMahon
However I admit the stealing of Stone Cold Steve Austin was like dropping an atomic bomb. But then again, if it's nuclear warfare you want, it's nuclear warfare you're gonna get. Because tonight, I'm gonna drop a little bomb of my own. You see tonight, I'm gonna do something I should've done a long time ago. Tonight, I'm gonna lift the suspension of a certain WWF superstar.
MMcMahon
Tonight, tonight I'm gonna reinstate a certain WWF superstar. Tonight, I'm gonna reinstate The Rock!
Ross
Listen to that ovation for The Rock!
MMcMahon
I know, I know that just because, just because I wanna reinstate The Rock, I know that doesn't necessarily mean The Rock will come back to the WWF and come back to action. Because if The Rock, if The Rock chooses to come back to action, he does so not because of Vince McMahon, but in spite of him. But knowing that, Rock, I've got a challenge for you, Rock. You've never backed down from a challenge before, so here goes. You know Rock, should you decide to come back to the WWF, I've gotta wonder, Rock, can you still bring it? I've gotta wonder Rock, whether you can still layeth the smackdown. And Rock can you still raise the people's eyebrow, Rock? And, and drop the People's Elbow, can you do that Rock? Rock let me ask you, Rock do you still consider yourself the people's champion? Rock are you still worthy of being called the most elecrifying man in sports entertainment today? If you are Rock, then listen to me. Listen to me damn it, Rock, I know, I know you're watching this tonight. Now wait a minute. Don't listen to me. Listen Rock, in Buffalo, New York, Rock, Rock! They're chanting your name! They're chanting your name Rock! Can you hear it Rock? Can you hear it?! Well Rock, on behalf of the millions, AND MILLIONS, of your Rock's fans, Rock come back! Come back Rock, because once again, we want to smellalalalalala, what The Rock is cookin'!
WWE Raw · 371 quotes
