With eyes that beautiful, how can you be so blind?
All S1
S1 E8Lovesick Ass
He wants you all to himself. He won't share you with anyone. You're in danger. He's dangerous. I saw him smoking a cigarette.
He doesn't smoke. He doesn't hit people. He doesn't deface synogogues and he doesn't frequent gay bath houses.
I have pictures.
You have photo-imaging software!
I'm only trying to protect you. Come with me to the cabin. I'll keep you safe. We have a cellar.
You know, even if you got rid of me, you'd still be left with the biggest obstacle to Jaye's heart.
What's that?
Jaye.
S1 E9Safety Canary
RRufus
You know what happens when a fairy's wings lose their dust? The fairy dies, that's what.
Uh, restrooms are for customers only.
PPenelope
We answer to a higher law.
We do?
Love. Love is our higher law. And we're here to save it. Not that it was ever in any danger. From me.
I wanna see an engorged cloaca!
PPenelope
You can't. I told you, your powerful sexual chemistry is too distracting.
I get that a lot, actually.
I'm trying to save him. By avoiding him. So I can be with him. But I can't go near him or I'll destroy him, so if I can just manage to stay away from him maybe we can be together. Please don't repeat that back to me.
I've never seen anyone work so hard to get someone else laid in my entire life. You are like the total mac daddy bird pimp.
S1 E10Lying Pig
You hit me with a television!
It was a portable!
Fine, I'm the crazy one... but I had the snake!
Well, it's my snake and I want it back.
[Jaye looks puzzled]
The snake... that's a penis reference, right?
No, God! With a mind that works like that no wonder you cheated on your honeymoon.
Alright, what're we drinking to?
How about crazy women and losers who love them.
You are not a loser. She is your wife. You don't just stop loving her because...
I am not talking about Heidi.
Uh... wow, really? [Eric gave her a convincing look] You love her? [another look from Eric] well, then you have to tell her.
Not until she tells me.
Now you're playing chicken. She has to say it first?
Not it, but something, anything. I just need a word. One word, so I'd know I am not the only one feeling this. But she can't say it and I don't know why.
You're like a brother to me.
So, I make love like a black man?
Not that kind of brother, you idiot!
Nobody can hurt by just admitting how they feel.
I think I might love him. Uhh. See that, it hurt.
S1 E11Cocktail Bunny
[to melted Wax Lion] Tell me why. Why make me make the man I love re-marry his hussy bride? How is that helpful? Who does that benefit besides the hussy, 'cause I'm not in the business of benefitting hussies.
[to Jaye] We're both reasonable women.
Ha!
We're both capable of reason.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Wonderfalls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.