So, did you defy the chicken?
Uh-huh.
And how'd that work out for ya?
I think I may have killed a man.
Oh. So not as well as we'd hoped then?
All S1
S1 E2Pink Flamingos
S1 E3Karma Chameleon
[to store customers] Come again!
Don't encourage them.
I thought I saw those motion lamps in the back.
Exactly, in the back, up on a high shelf. If one of us were to fall it would affect workers comp rates, we're not only protecting our employer... but small businesses everywhere.
You've gotta choose people who aren't much more motivated than you are — but don't surround yourself with total narcissists. Otherwise, things start to be about something other than you.
Your home is a trailer. Don't you see the beautiful poetry in that? It's a thing that's been designed to go someplace, and yet the hitch isn't hooked up to anything. So it just sits here, never living up to its potential... but never in any danger of breaking down either.
I should have tossed her out on her buh-buh-butt!
A brother who lives at home, and is still considered more successful than I am, which could be because I live in a trailer that, while it may look like Jeannie's bottle, is actually slightly smaller.
S1 E4Wound-Up Penguin
What do you get off brow-beating a hooker? Jesus was nice to prostitutes.
The man, do you remember what he looked like?
JJanitor
Strange looking sort. Dressed in all black. I remember thinking that if Johnny Cash had been born an Irishman, the music would have been more lilting.
If you were so happy with the sisters in the field, why did you leave?
KKatrina
It was the cheese. The cheese was my undoing. [indicating her plate] This is the miracle of life melted over these chili fries. The bacterial flirtation with enzymes. The co-mingling of friendly micro-organisms giving birth to curds and whey, "And from dust He created the universe."
The dairy-board must love you.
Yes, but maybe she's just a lazy whore. That happens, right? They can't all have hearts of gold and good work ethics.
The voices, the animals, I was just mad at them. But they aren’t demonic. It just feels like that sometimes when they make me help people.
S1 E5Crime Dog
Sharon, go talk to your father. You're his favorite.
[Sharon leaves the kitchen]
I thought I was his favorite.
We don't have favorites.
Oh my God, that guy just blew his nose on the ground. I thought Canadians were supposed to be clean.
Just don't make eye contact.
Well, if it isn't the squealer. Thanks for squealing, squealer.
How am I a squealer?
Uh, could it be the squealing? You ambushed us with the fuzz. You were all back-lit and evil-smoking like that guy on the X-Files.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Wonderfalls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.