Scenes with Panda 85
You boys are in for a treat. [holds a tray full of fortune cookies] I've really outdone myself.
[Grizzly and Panda eat the fortune cookies]
PandaYou have such a talent.
Make this for us every night.
[Nom-Nom looks at Ice Bear]
Oh, hey, uh, can somebody get me ketchup? I mean, it's great and everything, I just like ketchup.
[Ice Bear opens the fridge and finds one bottle of ketchup. He and Nom-Nom grab the ketchup. Grizzly and Panda watches Ice Bear and Nom-Nom tug over the ketchup bottle until Ice Bear throws Nom-Nom and he gets hit by a wall]
GPGrizzly and Panda
[gasps]
Panda
Nom Nom!
Panda
[picks up Nom-Nom] Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh. It's okay. Shh. Shh. Shh.
How could you do that? [Ice Bear frowns] How could you hurt anything that cute?
Panda
You're a monster!
[Grizzly and Panda hug Nom-Nom. Nom-Nom twinks his eye]
[to cinema manager] Sir? We respectfully request your attention!
Panda
Theater 9 has become a cesspool of rowdiness!
Ice Bear heard wrappers. Not hip-hop.
We implore you to restore order.
MManager
[sighs deeply] I'm sorry. I can issue you a full refund, but I can't refund the way the world is.
Panda
If anyone can do something, you can!
MManager
There was once a time when movies were special to people, when people liked it with dignity in this public place. Going to the theater was a loved and time-honored tradition, [holds a frame of himself in his younger days] but that was a long time ago.
[Grizz and Panda shed tears for a pause]
Well... what if we helped? [the manager coughs]
MManager
How could you possibly accomplish such a task?
We'll go into the theaters, we'll shush them with all our might!
Ice Bear will shush unshushable.
Panda
And we'll be completely hidden wearing these suits! [takes black garment out of backpack]
Panda
They're for our interpretive dance class.
Looks like it'll be tight. Are they one-size-fits-all? [the manager takes a look of the garment]
MManager
They're perfect! These uniforms will strike fear into the hearts of noisemakers everywhere. Finally, once again there is a chance to restore order in the world of cinema. Now go, and make the East Bay Cinema 13 proud!
Listen up. It's our duty to make this theater a safe haven for movie-lovers once again. For our children and our children's children.
Panda
That was beautiful. You should write poetry.
What makes you think I haven't?
[Grizzly is posing, Panda is guessing in a game of charades]
Panda
Uuuum... running?
Panda
A plane! Oh-oh, a bird!
Yeah, yeah, but what kind of bird?
Panda
Umm... I don't know, man! Pass!
Dude, a penguin! I was a penguin.
[Ice Bear poses, Chloe guesses]
Ballet! Um... robot! A-a rolling pin?
[Panda models a camera, Grizzly guesses]
A line! A-a square! Telescope! Typewriter! Grizzly Bear? Panda Bear? You're a typewriter!
Panda
Dude!!
[Chloe poses as Ice Bear guesses and answers correctly]
Boat. Pizza. Statue of Liberty. Snowman. Whale. Spider monkey. Richard Nixon. Old Faithful. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings.
Panda
Time! 20 answers in 43 seconds!
Panda
We were trying to help Chloe make some new friends at school today. It didn't go too well.
[scoffs] They're a bunch of poopers, anyways. We'll find Chloe better ones. [to Mrs. Park] I'm Grizz, by the way.
PMr. Park
And you must be Panda. [speaking korean]
[The Bears look at Mrs. Park]
Panda
Hey, what are they saying about me?
PMrs. Park
Oh, thank you for being so nice to our Chloe. She talks about you guys all the time.
PMr. Park
It's been hard for her, being the smartest kid in a small school and now at this big college, surrounded by people who are older.
[Chloe is doing her homework while she watches the Adventure Time episode, "The Enchiridion!"]
Oh, she'll be fine. Chloe's, like, the coolest kid we know.
Ice Bear will make everyone know that.
Panda
Yeah, she's gonna have so many friends, you'll probably regret it.
[A man opens a door and finds the goggles]
[The baby bear makes the box jump]
BGBaby Grizzly
We scored a good box, man.
[The baby bear on a box jumps away]
BGBaby Grizzly
Where next, guys?
BGBaby Grizzly
Okay, man.
Guys! Guys! Oh, there you are!
[Grizzly runs for the fridge and jumps on top of Panda]
Panda
Oh, thank you!
You guys are gonna be so excited. I've got us.. a new pet!
[Panda hits his head on the top of the fridge while getting out]
Panda
Ow- What? Is it a cat?!
[off-screen] No.. guess again!
[Ice Bear glares at his brothers, trying to close the fridge's door. However, Panda is in the way]
Panda
Oh.. A puppy?
[Grizzly unveils a crab named Captain Craboo from the bag, and it tries to escape. Grizzly places it back on the bag]
Panda
[in awe] Oh my gosh! Where did you get him?
He was on sale at the supermarket! Only 3.99 a pound.
Panda
Ohh-ohohoo! He's so cute!!
He's a good little crabby!
[Meanwhile, Ice Bear still is trying to close the fridge's door]
Panda
Aww! Look at his little face!
What do you think of the name Captain Craboo?
[Ice Bear finally succeeds, but the door is stopped by Grizzly's paw]
Wait, dude! Don't you wanna meet him?
[Craboo winks and begins to foam from his mouth. Meanwhile, Panda is on his phone]
Panda
The internet says you should pat his butt to be friends.
[Ice Bear stares at Panda for a moment, before going to shut the door again. However, Grizzly pulls him out with his paw]
[Grizzly proceeds to use Ice Bear's paw to pat the Craboo]
Nothin' to be afraid of, see? Just gentle pats.
Panda
He needs to smell you so he can get used to your musk.
[Craboo climbs across Ice Bear's arm and up his head]
[Then, Craboo snaps its claws, before grabbing onto Ice Bear's ear. His expression suggests surprise, but he does not move or say a word. Both Panda and Grizzly gasp. Then, Ice Bear shivers]
MMerchant
[at the counter] Did you bring your tote bag?
Ah, plastic's fine, thanks.
MMerchant
Uh... no, actually, it's not fine.
MMerchant
Wait, you seriously forgot your reusable bag?
MMerchant
Ugh, let me get this straight. You don't have a tote bag? Do you even care about the environment at all? What about the animals?!
Whoa, sir. We are animals. We care!
MMerchant
Tsk, tsk, tsk. [to another employee] Hey, Ron! These guys forgot their bags! [Ron grunts] I know, right?
Hey, man, we didn't even know about reusable bags!
MMerchant
Well, these guys all brought their bags. [Grizzly chuckles nervously at people holding bags] And what about this? Why would you buy vegan cookies, and then get eggs? Who does that?!
Panda
Actually, I'm a vegetarian and I— [the merchant touches his lips]
MMerchant
Shh-shh-shh! No more of your lies. But if you insist on having paper, I guess I can try and find you something. [uses speaker phone] Yeah, can we get some dead trees brought up to Aisle 4? [the tote bag people talk to each other indistinctly] For the tree-haters who forgot their bags?
[A snake came out the bushes as the bears begin to freak out]
Panda
Oh, it's coming over!
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Relax, fellas. I'll ... I'll handle this. [looks down at the snake] Uh, hey, man. Hey, uh, excuse me. Yeah, if you could, uh, do your snake things elsewhere, that would be super great. Oh, you live around here? Oh, you just moved? [Panda falls down] Oh, yeah, it's a nice place.
Panda
[to his brothers] Maybe we can leave now?
[Grizzly and Ice Bear nods]
Good stuff to do. I think the party's going well! Everyone's having a great time! [sees the Bears who are leaving] W-Where you guys going?
[Grizzly and the others plays a video game that resembles Wii Sports Resorts shows on screen with characters that resemble The Bears rowing on a river]
ONE! TWO! ONE! TWO! ONE! TWO! Whoa! Whoa whoa whoa whoa! What's going on? Dude, what are you doing?
Panda
Sorry!
Pay attention, man! One! Two!
Panda
You guys. Guess what happened just now?
You stopped rowing. Canoe started spinning.
Panda
Nope! I just matched this amazing girl on an online dating site. She's French! [whispered] Like the kissing!
Stop talking, or we're going to sink!
Panda
Dop. Sorry.
[Panda reaches for his phone and stops rowing in the process. The screen shows him leaning with his paddle sideways]
One! Two! Alright! We're almost there guys. One! Two! One! Two! Whoa, whoa, whoa! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!
[They drown in the game. The video game says, "YOU DROWN!"]
[The three bears on a boat made it to the finish line]
GPGrizzly and Panda
Yay! Whoo-Ho!
Panda
Yeah! We did it!
Ah. New Jersey's Beautiful.
BGBaby Grizzly
Wonder what that was about.
BPBaby Panda
[gulps] Maybe he's gonna kick us to the street! I saw him do it to those hamsters last week! I don't want to go back out there, Grizz! It's cold and full of outdoor allergens!
[Baby Panda runs away crying as Baby Grizzly and Baby Ice Bear stops eating dog food]
BGBaby Grizzly
Hey, don't worry so much, Panpan. We're gonna figure out how to get adopted, and then we'll be chillin' in our forever homes.
BGBaby Grizzly
Of course! you just gonna keep your eyes on the prize. That’s why we have our vision wall.
[The vision wall is a wall with lots of posters taped over it. Baby Grizzly points to a picture of a skateboarder]
BGBaby Grizzly
My future owner is gonna be a radical dude who likes long naps on the beach and stuffed crust pizzas!
BPBaby Panda
[points to a picture of a hot supermodel] My future owner loves fresh laundry smell and chilling ice-cream sundaes.
BGBaby Grizzly
What about you, buddy?
[Baby Ice Bear walks to the vision wall and puts up a poster showing two guys wrestling]
BIBaby Ice Bear
That's cool, buddy. You do you.
[Suddenly, the lights turn off]
BGBaby Grizzly
Alright, guys. Time to call it a night. Bedtime stack, just like we practiced.
[The baby bears go into the bedtime stack and sleep... well, at least try to sleep. The other animals are still making noises]
BPBaby Panda
Uh! Shhh... quiet!!
BGBaby Grizzly
Dude, we need to get adopted soon...
[At the manager's office, The Cupcake Shop Proprietor talks on the phone]
CSCupcake Shop Proprietor
Yes, uh-huh, all the customers have been given gift cards and an apology. Yes, sir. [the Bears sitting on chairs] Okay, yes, I'll let them know. Okay. [puts down the phone]
So, um, when do we get our money checks?
[Ice Bear smiles. The Cupcake Shop Proprietor puts on his hat and walks away and opens the door]
CSCupcake Shop Proprietor
[angilly to the Bears] By the way, you're fired! [slams the door and leaves]
Ugh, I guess we can't fix our laptop yet.
Panda
Man, I don't want to get another job.
Okay, you know what, Charlie? I was trying to be nice, but you've become a huge ball hog. It's not fun playing with you. Honestly, we'd rather lose playing with Panda than win playing with you.
Panda
[feeling his arm] Yeah. Wait, what?
But I'm one of the bears.
Sorry, you're off the team, man.
Off the team?! Ha! I am the team. And if you bears can't appreciate my talent, then I'll find somebody who does. You can keep your costume of lies! [takes off the bear costume] Huh, I'm leaving! [leaves the cave]
[sighs] I don't know, guys. Was I too hard on him?
Panda
No, man. He was being a dingle.
Ice Bear thinks you did the right thing.
Panda
Don't worry. Charlie isn't the type of guy to hold a grudge. This'll blow over by tomorrow.
[In Grizzly's room, Panda cleans up the mess]
Panda
Gross. [picks up a pizza box] Uber gross. [picks up a baseball mitt and apple core] Yuck! [throws the trash into the closet] Whew. [sees something else besides garbage] What? [founds a DVD disc that reads "Crowbar Jones: the Reckoning"] Huh. Mm. "Crowbar Jones: the Reckoning".
[Panda puts the DVD disc into the DVD player and the movie begins with Grizzly wearing a grey wing, sunglasses and bowtie because he's playing Crowbar Jones]
NNarrator
He's the master of every martial art known to man.
[Grizzly as Crowbar Jones throws the stick and rolls backwards]
NNarrator
He is skilled in the art of stealth. He punched a guy so hard once, he sent him to space! He is... Crowbar Jones!
Panda
[chuckles] This is so bad, it's good.
We Bare Bears · 130 quotes
