Lines by Panda 5
[In Panda's room]
PandaThat text couldn't be for me. I mean, it just doesn't make sense. But maybe she does really want to go on a date. Eh, maybe if I give her one little text back. [tries to text back] No! I shouldn't!
[The cellphone suddenly rings]
Panda
Huh? "So, our date? Let me know if you can ASAP. If you can't, I'll make other plans..." [stares at the phone] Our date? Our date! [laughs for joy] I can't believe it! A date! [stops laughing] Oh, wait! Wha-What do you write back? [grabs the phone] Uh, okay. I got to write the perfect response...
[Panda types on the phone as the message says "Heck yo, BB"]
Panda
Um... No, not classy enough. Something playful, maybe...
[as Panda types down "Oh May I count the.." The phone's battery suddenly dies down]
Panda
No! The phone's dead! The phone's dead! I need a charger! I need a charger quick! [gets his charger but it's not fitting] No! It's not fitting!
Young Panda
[yawns] Good morning, chute. [the chute opens] Hello?! Hey, don't ignore me, chute! Rude! [a black shadow rols down the chute and hits Young Panda]
Young Panda
Aaaah! [hides in the bushes and peeks out] What the? [walks toward a stuff Panda bear] Am I supposed to eat this?! [licks the stuff Panda] Bleech! Gross! [picks up a stick and move the stuff Panda; gasp] Hey, quit laughing! You scared me! Plus, I almost ate you! Hmph! :[pause and Young Panda starts laughing]
Young Panda
I guess it was a little bit funny. [grunts] My name is Panda 1. [puts on his collar] See?
[The collar says "Panda 1"]
Young Panda
So that must make you Panda Two! Nice to meet you! Wanna hang out?
[The camera zooms over to Panda 2]
Young Panda
Great! Let's go!
Young Panda
[laughs] I'm having so much fun with you, Two! I'm so glad you're here! Oh, hey, I have something for you! It's a friendship necklace! I made it myself. [puts the necklace on Panda 2] There! Now we match! Best friends forever! Mm! Okay, so what do you wanna do now?! We could eat or play in the water or take a nap or eat some more or nap again.
[Panda 2 is wearing a necklace that says "Panda 2"]
Young Panda
What?! How could you say that?! We've got everything we need here. It's paradise! It is not boring.
[That night]
Young Panda
Panda Two, I'm glad you're here with me lookin' up at this beautiful sky together!
[The glow-in-the-dark star sticker falls off]
Young Panda
Oh! A falling star! Quick, let's make a wish! I wish I wish we could go play in the magic box!
[Panda 2 cannot talk]
Young Panda
What?! But we can't actually do that.
[Panda 2 still cannot talk]
Young Panda
You have a plan?! Well, I dunno That sounds dangerous! [The camera zooms over to Panda 2] Oh. Well said, Panda Two! You can't argue when you put it like that! Okay, magic box, here we come! [yawns] After I get my eight hours of beauty rest.
[Young Panda falls asleep with Panda 2]
[As the party is getting ready to start, Panda chats with the Larkatoo]
Panda
[yawns] Hey, birdie. We invited the whole forest, so another Larkatoo is bound to hear about it and come. I know what it's like looking for a soul mate. It's not easy. Look, I'm tired, but I really want you to find love. I'm your wingman.
[The Larkatoo squawks]
Panda
Almost there.
Scenes with Panda 85
[A bear named Grizzly laughs as he watches a live-action video of a bear scratching his back against a tree. He takes a drink from a Diet Soda bottle. As some soda accidentally spills on his desk, he attempts to wipe it off with his arm]
[laughs] Hey Panda! [BURP!!!] Excuse me. Check out this guy! Hey, you gotta see this! Panda?
[Grizzly scoots his chair around the house, in an attempt to find Panda]
[Cut to his little brother, Ice Bear, inside of the fridge]
Hey, have you seen Panda?
[Ice Bear lifts his shoulders, signaling an "I don't know."]
[Their brother, Panda is heard in the distance, singing. Cut to Panda in the closet, playing with a guitar game controller]
Panda
[singing] Why did you sit on my heart, and hurt me so bad? Lady!
[knocks on the door] Hey Panda, are you in the closet?
Panda
Um, no! No, nobody's here!
Why'd you lock the door, little brother?
Panda
I just need some alone time.
Is this- are you still bummed your internet girlfriend broke up with you?
Panda
No.
Panda
Maybe.
[He groans] You gotta let that go, man! [Ice Bear swings his axe at the closet door] Cheer up! There are plenty of other girls out there! You're a Panda! You're cute. You're cuddly. You know kung-fu.
Panda
But I don't know kung-fu!
Yeah, you know what I mean. [Panda scrolls through some texts on his phone while Grizzly tries to console him. Panda has texted "Hello?" several times to Susan, his ex-girlfriend, until Susan had texted back "It's over."] [muffled] Come on, Panda, let's go do something fun. You can just forget about that online lady friend, that are bad buds all around her, she's just broken inside, okay? Don't be a sucker, Pan-Pan.
Panda
You don't know my life!
I got it! We could take pictures of ourselves with record albums as our faces!
Panda
No!
We could shave our names on our backs again!
Panda
No!
Panda
[finally opens the door] Chocolate?
Panda
Triple scoop?
Panda
Okay.
[throws his axe on the ground] Ice Bear will drive.
[The bears leave the court carrying Panda and throw him into a water fountain]
Panda
Haha! Game time, huh!
Good job, bros. I'm proud of you, I saw improvement, and I saw heart, and you can't teach heart. Wait a sec, did we forget something?
Panda
Haha. I thought for a second there you said we left our stuff back at the court because my phone is in there and if I lost that I would totally freak out.
[long pause]
Panda
GAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
[The bears run back to the court, they look at the bleachers]
Ah! It's gone! Somebody jacked us!
Panda
No no no no no no no no NO!!
[A police officer is writing a ticket]
GPGrizzly and Panda
POLICE! POLICE! POLICE!
Whoa, sorry guys. I'm already writing this ticket.
No, no. We were robbed! T-The guy had a knife a-a-and one eye.
Panda
They stole my phone, my apps, my soul!
Arrest somebody! Use your gun! Wait, where's your gun?
[A ticket comes out the ticket machine and the police puts it on the car and drives away]
[in the diner] Okay, if I was here, and you guys were here and here, that would mean somebody took the bag... where?
Ice Bear has a conspiracy theory.
Panda, how're the mugshots coming along?
Panda
It's a good thing I have a photographic memory. Here's what I got so far. [shows tablemat mugshots of basketball players drawn in manga style]
Hm... they kinda look similar.
Panda
Really? But they're so rendered. [a waitress shows up]
WWaitress
So, I just talked to the manager, and he said if you guys want to sit here, you'll have to order more than three ice waters.
Well, maybe you wouldn't say that if we were [shows parking ticket] FBI, lady!! We're doing official business! Step away from the table!
WWaitress
Ugh... [leaves, stops] And stop wasting tablemats! [leaves]
We're losing time. Gotta think... need a clue... maybe someone who was at the scene of the crime. Ah! I know just where to go!
[Ice Bear slushes his ice water drink, shakes it]
[That night in the city, a red and white bus drives through the road. The bears appeared in the darkness]
[Grizzly rolls up the paper and uses it as a telescope. He spots two people arguing, a white cat and Player 41 opening the window]
Panda
Where? Do you see our stuff?
Oh, he has our stuff, all right. Let's move!
[The bears walk through the sidewalk and Grizzly grabs a ladder. Panda and Ice Bear follow him and climbed more ladders. An old lady spots the bears and dials her telephone to call the police]
WWoman
911. What's your emergency?
[Player 41 is watching a basketball game on TV]
AAnnouncer
And now Jones inbounds the ball. Shot clock at 18.
Panda
Wait, Grizz! What's the plan?
We'll I'm going to go in there and get our stuff back.
Panda
What if he's, I don't know, crazy? I mean, what if he works out? He can hurt our faces and stuff.
Ice Bear wants to get moving.
Okay, okay, okay. We'll go in ninja-style, cool?
[Panda and Ice Bear nods]
[As Ice Bear cooks breakfast]
Panda
Remember, no nuts in mine. I'm allergic.
[serving out breakfast] Ahem. Priyatnogo appetita. ["Bon appetite."]
[gasps in amazement] Ha ha ha! Whoa!
It looks so good, you guys! [grabs Panda's phone and starts filming him with it] We gotta document this!
Panda
Hey!
Okay, chow down, Pan-Pan!
Panda
Come on, man, I just want to eat my breakfast.
[He starts eating, sweating nervously as Grizzly zooms in on him and sniggers]
Panda
[with his mouth full, spraying chunks] Come on, stop it, dude!
[laughs] Golden! I gotta post this online! [scoffs down his food in about two seconds] To the internet! [races out of the room]
Panda
You'd better not!
[Panda sighs and keeps eating, while Ice Bear cuts a slab of meat with his axe]
[from another room] It's uploading! ... It's public!
Panda
Huh?!
[Panda and Ice Bear head to Grizzly at the laptop]
Panda
Take it down!
Hang on, little brother. Just watch. Millions of people are gonna wanna see this.
[Ice Bear presses "Refresh" six times, resulting in a "Dislike"]
GPGrizzly and Panda
Awww.
Panda
It wasn't that bad.
Ice Bear will hunt them down.
[Grizzly is holding a camera. The camera is off]
All right, wait, why isn't anything showing up? Oh, wait, it's not on. [camera is zoomed in too closely on Panda] Ha ha, whoa, hey, too close, yeah! Looking good, bro.
[Panda is wearing a pair of underpants wit ha safety pin and toilet paper rolls on his head]
Panda
Why do I have to wear toilet paper on my head?
Panda
Oh, oh where...
Panda
Oh, oh where am I? I am a lost baby.
Panda
Mom, mom?
Panda
Ma, are you in there? [looks in cereal box]
Here's your bottle! [Ice Bear throws a drinking bottle at Panda] Now try to get up!
Panda
It's not my fault I was born round! [Ice Bear throws blanket on Panda]
Goodnight, baby! [to Panda] Alright, quick, take the camera. [Ice Bear turn the camera to Grizzly] Okay, am I in frame? Good. [talks to the camera somewhat loudly] Wow, look at this cute small box! Would it not be cute if I were to sit in it? [he falls on the ground and squishes the box] Did you get that? Okay, switch.
[The camera pans to Ice Bear who dances with a red towel/scarf and falls on the ground]
[Grizzly uploads the video and types...]
"Cu-test vid-e-o e-ver, #righteous, #holla..."
Panda
"#pandasingle"...
It's public! Alright, step back, let it breathe, guys.
[they step away for a beat; Grizzly runs to the computer]
I'VE GOTTA REFRESH! [slams into the desk and punches the F5 Key] Nothing. Oh. That's cool! That's cool. I mean, it's only been a minute, right? Yeah, you guys can go. Just gonna hang here, wait till we get more frien--I mean, hits.
[An Array of food items is shown. An Arial view of the food truck park is shown. Cut to bears and a very long line]
Aw man, when do we get to eat? This line's taking forever!
Ice Bear's tired of staring at this guy's butt. [Guy over-hears Ice Bear talking, and takes a step forward.]
Panda
[to Grizzly] How much longer I may die soon?
From here I would say...15 to 75 minutes? [Grizzly sees a man holding a taco] Woah! Is that the Ramen Taco? Lucky!
[Panda takes a picture of the man with his phone but the flash of the phone disorientates him for a couple of seconds and he walks away. Panda then looks at the picture]
Panda
Wow, there it is, I wanna eat my phone now. I told you we should've settled for the mac n' cheese pizza truck.
No Panda! When it comes to food we never settle!
Panda
Okay! Okay.
We're good law abiding citizens; we deserve that Ramen Taco! Even 10 of em'.
Goodbye, cruel world. [falls down, making the others fall too]
[after Chloe left] Well, that was fun. Now time to enjoy our spoils. [sees laptop under honey wasabi gummi bags] Huh? Oh no...
Panda
Chloe's laptop! She needs this!
Hmm... Well... now that it's here, [opens laptop] a little peek can't hurt. Here it is, the assignment. Let's fullscreen. Next slide! [shows photo of smeared Ice Bear, smiling Grizzly and Panda with eyes closed] "Large and Needy Beasts of the North"... what?
Panda
Ugh, that's a horrible photo. [cue "hygiene" slide]
"Powerful stench"? It's an alluring musk!
Ice Bear smells like clean babies. [cue "social ignorance" slide]
Panda
We don't make people uncomfortable! [cue portrait of Grizz with keywords]
[chuckles] Cool, it's me!
Panda
Grizz, most of this stuff isn't very nice! [cue "Panda's diet" pie chart] I mean, what?! My diet is more balanced than that! I mean, it's just more lies! [cue "Ice Bear's property damage over time" line graph]
Ice Bear settled that out of court. [cue next slide]
What this? "The bear will do most anything for food." Anything for food? That's just not true! [they pause for a beat, spit out honey wasabi gummi] I don't understand, this is just such a misrepresentation.
Panda
Yeah! That's not us at all! [hear a text tone, Panda gets his phone] Look at this.
[reads text] "Left my laptop!" [a new text pops up] "Could you bring it by the college for me tomorrow? :0" Gasping face. Tomorrow... huh.
[Grizz and Panda chuckle at each other sinisterly, Ice Bear smiles cooly]
Oh, I'll bring it by tomorrow! "Yes ;) ;) ;)", winky winky winky. This is our chance, bros, to let the people know who we really are. Chloe won't mind if we make a couple adjustments. Break out the sugary drinks! We have a project to write!
[runs to the edge of a cliff] Aha! We made it!
Panda
Wait, what do you mean, we made it? Where are all the picnic tables and benches?
I'm glad ya asked, buddy, 'cause... surprise!! [throws picnic basket away; falls into a forest] We're not having a picnic! And we're completely lost!
Panda
Grizz, what the heck, man?! I'm gonna starve! [Ice Bear reveals a food bar under his armpit]
Panda
Oooh!
Nope, that's cheating! [takes food bar, throws it away] Away! No more process snacks for us, gang. We'll be livin' off land, just like Mother Nature intended.
Ice Bear will never share again. Due to gravity.
Panda
Dude, whatever, I'll just use my phone and— wha?! [notices his phone is a piece of cardboard; nervous laugh] Grizz, where's my phone?
Pan Pan, would you just look around you? Nature provides everything we need. [takes twig off a tree] Like this twig! It has all the nutrients to help us survive. [munches twig] Mmmm, delicious!
Panda
C'mon Grizz, this isn't funny. Let's just go back home!
Guys, trust me. This is where we're meant to be! Just breathe in that fresh mountain air, would ya? [breathes in] Achoo!
Ice Bear will not bless you.
Together, we will follow in the footsteps of our primal ancestors! Face every obstacle that stands between us, [Australian accent] and survival! [a flying bald eagle screeches]
Panda
I don't think we're getting out of this.
Ice Bear will miss yoga today.
So are we men, or are we bears?
PIPanda and Ice Bear
[deadpan] Bears.
We Bare Bears · 130 quotes
