TSTori's Newest Status Update on TheSlap
Well, I now have a BOOT PRINT on MY RIGHT KIDNEY. Thank you, Jade. FEELING SORE
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
RRex
Wait, who got bit by monkeys?
The director's kid.
RRex
Did he taunt the monkeys?
(Beck and Jade chuckle)
And what if I end up in the hospital?
(Imitating Tori) Well maybe you'll meet a handsome young doctor, get married and share a soda pop!
I DON'T talk like a movie star from the 1940s!
[to Tori] Come on, now there's not gonna be a funeral.
Aw.
We're all gonna come down to set, keep you cool, watch you land safe and sound, right on that air sack.
(Tori smiles)
Unless you miss it! [laughs]
(Tori frowns)
I don't think you'll miss it.
Peeminder?
RRex
You should download that.
Yeah you should.
(deadpan) Yay, Cat made another costume.
I'm Cat, International Spy! (makes gun noises with her finger, then points to it) It's not real.
Beck? Beck?
(Enters, wearing a wig and Tori's dress and speaks in a high-pitched voice) Yes?
Beck?
I'm not Beck. I'm you.
[After pushing Tori of the balcony, in a southern belle accent] You're ever so welcome!
I don't talk like that!!
[Cat is upset and refusing to talk to Robbie at lunch] Cat? Cat, come on. You can't be mad at me over something that I did in your dream.
It's what you didn't do.
Well, would you at least tell me what I didn't do?
Fine. These little kids were trying to eat us, and you wouldn't even try to help me. You were just crying and yelling "No, no. Don't eat me. Eat her, eat her."
Well, I'm sorry. And if a bunch of little kids ever really do try to eat us, I promise to...well, why shouldn't they eat you first?
(Andre and Tori sit down)
Robbie!
I wanna live. There's things I've never tried. There's things I really, really, really wanna do.
What do you really, really, really wanna do?
Ride a pony. Take a cooking class. (Robbie pauses, embarrassed) Other things.
Robbie let a bunch of little kids eat me.
It's not my fault if dream children find you delicious.
(reads Trina's list) I have to pluck... her toe hair?
I'm sick of this. Ice cream reminds me of my childhood.
You didn't have a happy childhood?
My favorite toy was a hammer. You finish the puzzle.
(aside, to Jade) You know, you don't have to help.
Don't push me.
What?
But, if we win and Kesha does do a private concert, only the people who help find the letters get to come.
[Imitating Tori] Only the people who help find the letters get to come.
I don't talk like that.
Ooh, you don't look happy.
I'm not.
Yay.
Trina giving you a rough time?
Yes. Do you know she sleep sweats?
Sleep sweats?
Yeah, she made me go into her room last night every two hours, with a sponge, lift her arms, and then -
Tori. Hey, answer my phone.
What? I don't wanna.
You're her assistant, so do what she says.
Thank you, Jade. [touches Jade's arm]
Never touch me.
(after she finds out the contest is still on) I can still win the contest.
[references Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory] Run for it, Tori. Run straight home and don't stop until you get there.
(Robbie is carrying a bucket of ice cream)
Hey, where you going?
I don't think we should waste all this ice cream, so I'm gonna take it to that playground around the corner and give it to some little kids.
Uh, I don't know how kids mothers are gonna feel about a strange guy handing out-
(aside, to Beck) Let him do it.
(to Jade) No, you're terrible, you're a terrible influence-
Just let him do it. Just let him do it!
(to Robbie) Good luck.
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