[Veronica arrives home from a date.]
So, what did you think of him?
Oh, hey, you're home early.
Oh, hey, did you run his license plate or did you get fingerprints?
You know you're not fooling me.
Okay. Veronica, I have no idea what you're talking about. [Veronica scoffs and starts to go to her room] Oh, hey, I forgot to tell you. If he's gonna be kissing my daughter on my porch for eight-and-a-half minutes, I'll need to meet him. Sweet dreams, honey.
Is that really necessary?
He's taking up a lot of daddy/daughter time.
[Lilly arrives in her homecoming dress.]
I believe Keanu Reeves said it best when he said, "Whoooa."
It's not going to work. You can't take the cool out of me. Look, pocket protector and I'm still full of pimp juice.
[pretending to be drunk] They told me this was Sri Lanka! I wanted a coconut toddy!
[still pretending to be drunk, to Wallace] I don't feel so good, Papa Bear!
[Later]
My first college party - drinking piña coladas with a dude and talking about math.
[Playing "I Never"]
I've never taken matters into my own hand in the boys' locker room after watching the cheerleader tryouts.
[Veronica and Lilly gasp]
Very pervy, Duncan. I'm a little impressed though.
Please tell me that was before we started dating.
[drinking] Of course. I've never, um, I've never seen my parents having sex. [Lilly drinks, everyone gasps] No way, no way.
Yeah, I went into their room to borrow Mom's black sweater.
Oh my God, I don't wanna see this!
Hold on a second! She was like this. Watch. She was like this. [moaning] Ohh. Ohh. [yawning] Ohh.
I think Dad probably thought so too.
So, Veronica tells me, um, well, actually she hasn't told me anything about you.
Well, I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
Neither do I. [both laugh]
Well, if you have any questions or you know, you want a list of references or anything...
So, you going to the homecoming dance?
Oh yes, sir, if that's okay with you.
Oh, of course. And after the dance?
Well I think that Veronica said that she had to be right home after.
Yeah, good. And you're gonna stay for the whole dance. I mean, you're not gonna leave early and go to a party or a hotel, and still make it back by curfew?
No, uh, I mean, the whole point of going to the dance... is to go to the dance.
Good. Good. So you won't mind then, that I canceled your reservation at the Four Seasons?
Oh, my God. They called the cops.
This is like, the best dance EVER.
[to Troy] Dude, where's your car?
[to Troy, about Logan] Uh, your monkey's gonna have to ride in the back.
Ha ha. Nice car. God, it must've been a huge cereal box.
[voiceover] You know those people who can predict when change is coming in their life? I'm not one of them. Change has a way of just walking up and punching me in the face.
So far it's been a whole lot of brick walls, but I talked to my buddy Earl yesterday at the impound yard.
What do I love more? That you have a buddy named Earl or that he works at the impound yard?
I'm guessing both. No sign of the Beamer. But he can get you a great deal on a Good Times van.
I'll pass that on to my dad when he gets back. Maybe it'll take his mind off of loading his gun.
Here's a thought: If Tijuana was Logan's idea, then stealing the car could have been the master plan.
It was more of a meeting of the minds, if you will.
Ah, so what was on the menu for this night of grand debauchery?
Let's see, uh, from eight to nine, we brainstormed on how to overthrow Kim Jong Il. From nine to ten, we deleted the records of the black voters of Florida. After that, it was, uh, yeah, it was all donkey shows.
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