CCourtney
I think it's supposed to be hard.
S2 E4You Becoming You
Got it, like Barbie - no holes.
Hey buddy, just in time for a little Billy Jack time.
Starting to hate you.
On you know what I realized this morning? My bedroom window overlooks the Hubbard backyard and it has quite a view!
What happened to your neck?
A door-to-door werewolf.
S2 E5Doing Time
I want my wedding pictures with Nick, but I want my wedding night with Neal.
(to Marshall) I saw your girlfriend earlier, did you kick her like a meth habit?
PPammy
I don't know your wife, I had a thing for Buck.
DDavid
(Referring to Kate) I thought you said your mom was psycho.
As a family we are completely fu**ed.
Why does Mrs. Butterworth need to be black? And Aunt Jemima too. That's some fucked up racial pancake shit.
Mrs. Butterworth isn't black; she's just filled with syrup. She's clear.
Hmm...she's a clearcasian.
Do you even know what that means?
No not really.
CCourtney
Why can't you come clean with me?
Just because I don't share every single thought in my head about you does not mean that I'm a liar! You want to know the truth? Here it is. This was never a real relationship! You are so fucked up in your head that you just don't get it! You're so afraid of finding out who you really are. You'd rather be married to someone you KNOW is gay than risk being rejected by someone who could actually love you!
How could I love you, Courtney? I'm embarrassed for you! But I didn't say anything, because I didn't want to hurt your feelings. Because I am a decent human being. Because I've learned in my life that as much as I want to tell my sister that she's not as clever or special as she thinks she is or tell my aunt that she's a pathological narcissist or tell my dad to wake up because my mother's D.I.D. disease is just going to bury us all. It's better to keep my goddamn mouth shut!
[Tara suddenly drops the tray of tea and begins shrieking as Gimmy emerges and begins breaking things around the living room]
Oh nice going, Marshall! I hope you like your new foster family!
S2 E8Explosive Diorama
People don't know I'm gay unless I'm blowing them.
What did you guys do together anyway? It?
Just kiss and a... little dry humping.
Must've been tough to stay dry.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's United States of Tara pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.