Hey, Ashley, you know what? Your flying monkeys were just in here looking for you.
I see they left behind a munchkin.
S2Two Guys, a Girl and a Fighter
All I could think about was how I was gonna get Berg back for giving Ashley a key.
Me too.
What were you gonna do?
Leave a message on his machine as an ex-girlfriend. You?
I was gonna leave a home pregnancy test kit on his dresser.
Wow, that's good. You really put a lot of thought into that.
He's my best friend.
Ashley, how did you get in here?
Well, I figured you'd do something stupid like change the locks, so I left the window open a crack.
A crack? Oh, wait a minute, I forgot vampires can turn into mist.
If you're gonna wait, wait over there.
Fine.
Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh. I'm not pointing to the booth. I'm pointing to Rhode Island.
S2Two Guys, a Girl and Barenaked Ladies
Ashley and I have nothing in common, what are we going to talk about?
Do you have an interest in witchcraft?
Oh Ashley I like your perfume.
Thanks Pete.
What is it? Brimstone?
S2Two Guys, a Girl and an Engagement (1)
The nicest thing Pete ever said to me was “Oh wow that car almost hit you.”
How could you two do this to someone so wonderful?!
I know, I feel terrible about Johnny…
I’m not talking about Johnny I’m talking about me!
Guys, guys, Sharon and Johnny are coming.
Damn! Stall!
Brilliant! Because I was just going to warn you and then hurry them in. (Ashley runs out)
She's like a ray of sunshine. No, strike that. She's more like a death ray.
Are you just threatening the bread or are you waiting from a call from the governor?
She’s in love with Johnny.
Who says she can’t be in love with you too?
You!
It’s ludicrous because Sharon only loves Pete as a friend.
And what’s a better basis for a marriage than love and friendship?
Sex! Money! An alliance between kingdoms!
We were in a restaurant, he got down on one knee and said “Ashley will you marry me?” And I said yes.
So what, you changed your mind before the wedding?
No.
Um Ashley, if this story doesn’t end tragically I’m going to be very upset.
You’re going to propose?
Yeah.
Do you know all her family lost their money?
I don’t care.
Is she pregnant? Are you an illegal alien? Do you need a kidney?
I love her.
Congratulations! Her family is loaded!
Sharon is our best friend, if we find out your cheating on her we’ll kick your ass!
You two are going to kick my ass?
We have friends.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.