Jake and Charlie in “The Spit-Covered Cobbler”

Hey, how come my mom hates Kandi?

What gave you the idea that she hates her?

'Cause she says so... a lot.

All right. Why do you think?

I dunno. She's pretty, she's fun, and Dad seems real happy with her.

Well, little man, you just answered your own question.

I did? What'd I say?

It's like this: You ever see a kid at school who doesn't like his lunch but he won't let you have it either?

Oh, yeah. Russell Beasley. He'll spit on his apple cobbler before he'll let anybody else eat it.

Well, this is pretty much the same deal, except your mom is Russell Beasley, and your dad is the spit-covered cobbler.

I don't understand.

Even though your mom doesn't want your dad, she doesn't want Kandi to eat him, either.

Oh.