Alan and Kandi in “Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded”

See, the thing for me was that I-- I never should have gotten married. I-- I was young, I didn't know who I was, and to be completely honest, I was just afraid of being alone.

Wow. Can I share something with you?

Uh, yes, please, this is... uh, communicating. This is how we connect.

You shouldn't tell people that stuff. It makes you sound like a loser.

No, it makes me sound like a real human being, a-- a person with feelings and flaws.

[makes the "loser" hand gesture]