Alan and Charlie in “A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On”

You're hitting on the widow!

No, I'm consoling the widow. I won't start hittin' on her 'til they close the lid.

Unbelievable. How do you sleep at night?!

Usually drunk and on top of somebody. But that takes work, Alan; it doesn't just happen by itself.

Hey, well, here's an idea: Why don't you run downstairs to the embalming room and see if you can score a couple of fresh ones off the truck?

Excuse me, but considering your ex-wife, I'd say you're the expert on having sex with cold women who don't move!