Alan?
Yeah?
Smack your kid for me.
Should we really risk more brain damage?
Thanks for sticking up for me, dad.
Oh, hey, you'll never guess who I ran into.
Kobe Bryant?
No.
Lauren Conrad?
No.
Sean "P. Diddy" Combs?
What is wrong with you?
[on Alan's screenplay]
You know what you could call it?
What?
Bor-ing!
Thank you.
Rated G... A-Y.
[Judith is in labor]
OH, MY FREAKING GOD!
Now, you're not breathing. You've got to remember to breathe. [Judith does so] Good, good, good. [looks at his watch] OK, now you're only two minutes apart so we're in the home stretch here.
Great...
Boy, it seems like just yesterday we were at this same hospital waiting for little Jake to arrive.
Uh-huh.
I guess after pushing out his enormous head, this one will be like spitting a watermelon seed.
I can't get over how into this baby you are.
It was amazing. The miracle of birth. If Judith hadn't been there it would have been perfect.
So you're not against maybe having one of your own someday?
I don't see why not. Turns out, I love babies, and as you know, I'm a longtime fan of intercourse.
Season 7
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