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S6 E16

Two and a Half Men · Season 6, Episode 16

“She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime” quotes from Two and a Half Men

5 quotes

“She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime” · Season 6, Episode 16

In this episode: Jake (4), Charlie (3), Alan (3), Chelsea (1)

Hey, hey, it's got nothing to do with jealousy. I just know, based on a lifetime of experience, that penises do not observe a traditional mourning period.

So what's it gonna be? A movie, bowling, putt-putt, Nevada cathouse?

I vote for cathouse.

Do you even know what a cathouse is?

Not firsthand. That's why I voted for it!

A movie would be fine.

All right. A movie it is. What's out that's good?

There's a new pirate movie. It's rated "Arr!" [Alan and Charlie stare at him] You guys have no sense of humor.

[Charlie is drinking on the patio with Wanda while Chelsea is out of town]

Have I met this woman before?

I doubt it.

She looks familiar.

Blond, busty, and bombed? Around here, that's familiar.

I thought Uncle Charlie liked Chelsea.

He does.

Well, then, what's he doing with Wanda?

Well, buddy, it's like this: uh, despite his many admirable qualities, your Uncle Charlie is, at heart, a sleazeball.

That's what I figured. I just wanted a second opinion.

I still don't understand why it's called Back to the Future.

Because they're stuck in the past, and they have to get back...

Home.

Hey, Jake...

You might wanna hang back a sec. I just ripped off an air biscuit.

What?

I farted. Sorry, I get the fancy words from my dad.

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