You should have seen it, Berta. The paramedics zipped him up in a big plastic bag.
Is that so?
It looked like one of those things that delivery guys use to keep pizza hot. I wonder if they got him to the morgue in thirty minutes or less.
I was trying to research cars, but you wouldn't believe what comes up when you Google "Hummer".
Actually, I would.
I've been thinking a lot about how fleeting life is, and that none of us really knows how long we're gonna be here.
Did you find another lump on your pee-pee?
No, Mom, my pee-pee's fine!
I don't know how "worn down to a nub" can be fine, but all right...
[while Charlie imagines his own funeral]
JEJames Earl Jones
To be completely honest, I didn't know Charlie Harper. But any man who, with his dying breath, would set aside $25,000 and a first-class air ticket so I could deliver his eulogy is aces in my book!
I don't care if I never inherit this house.
Uh, uh... excuse me? You ain't seen this new will, huh?
What new will?
Just in case tragedy strikes, be prepared to clear your crap out of here in 48 hours.
(After realizing he's going to move out when Charlie dies) Son of a bitch!
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