You know, it wouldn't kill you to talk to Mom once in a while.
We don't know that.
[Having an argument with Charlie] No no, Charlie, you see, to know what goes on inside my head, you would have to be familiar with the world that exists, beyond the tip of your penis.
Don't talk about my penis, you have not earned the right.
Jake [to Alan and Charlie]: You know, if you guys were queer, we'd be what they call an "alter-native" family.
Alan, you're like an Alzheimer's victim in a whorehouse.
Excuse me?
You're constantly surprised that you've been screwed... and you don't want to pay for it!
Rose, please, don't try to psychoanalyze me.
Oh, Charlie, psychoanalysis takes years. I'm just messing around inside your head.
Who would've thought Rose knew what she was talking about?
Certainly not Rose.
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