Ianto Jones quotes from Torchwood

Ianto

Need me to do any attacking, sir?

Ianto

It's narrowed the numbers down, I could check through the rest. You know, the old fashioned way. With my eyes.

Ianto

You could have saved her! You're worse than anything locked up down there. One day I'll have the chance to save you and I'll watch you suffer and die.

Ianto

We don't sniff the sub-etheric resonator!

Ianto

She knows more about this place than I do. [Slams fist] Nobody knows more than I do!

Ianto

I have searched for the phrase "I shall walk the Earth and my hunger shall know no bounds," but I keep getting redirected to Weight Watchers

Ianto

That's what I love about Torchwood. By day, you're chasing the scum of the universe, come midnight you're the wedding fairy.

I've got a secret weapon. Chocolate. Preferably dark.

Jack

And this is Ianto Jones [Ianto nods] Ianto cleans up after us, gets us everywhere on time.

I try my best.

Jack

And he looks good in a suit.

Ianto

Careful, that's harassment, sir.

Gwen

You don't know anything?

Owen

Not who he is, not where he's from, not anything. Except... him being gay.

Gwen

No he's not. Really, do you think?

Toshiko

Owen does, I don't.

Ianto

And I don't care.

Owen

Period military is not the dress code of a straight man.

Gwen

I think it suits him. Sort of classic.

Toshiko

Exactly! I've watched him in action, he'll shag anything if it's gorgeous enough.

Gwen

We know he's from America, right?

Owen

Don't even know that for sure.

Toshiko

No US citizen by the name of Jack Harkness born in the last fifty years.

Gwen

Maybe his identity's classified.

Ianto

Used to be something big in the CIA, that's what I reckon.

Gwen

He must have his reasons for wanting to keep things secret.

Owen

Sure he has. Doesn't stop me from wanting to know.

Jack

This kid, Bernie. Where does he live?

Splott.

Owen

Splott?!

Ianto

I believe estate agents pronounce it "Sploe".

Ianto

I'm going back in to save her. Anybody tries to stop me, I'll shoot them.

Gwen

Ianto, put the gun down.

Jack

You make a threat like that, you better be prepared to follow it through. See? You disobey me now, I really will shoot you.

Ianto

Get off me.

Jack

You want to go back in there? You go in to finish the job. If she's still alive, you execute her.

Ianto

No way.

Jack

You brought this down on us. You hid her. You hid yourself from us. Now it's time for you to stand as part of the team.

Gwen

Jack.

Jack

The girl you loved has gone. Your loyalty is to us now.

Ianto

You can't order me to do that.

Jack

You execute her, or I'll execute you both!

Ianto

I won't do it. You can't make me. You like to think you're a hero, but you're the biggest monster of all.

Ianto

I'm not giving up on her. I love her. Can you understand that, Jack? Haven't you ever loved anyone?

Jack

You need to figure out who's side you're on here, because if you don't know, you're not gonna make it out of this alive.

Ianto

Oh, god! Oh, my God! What happened?!

His upgrade failed.

Ianto

Was it an accident? [stops] Tell me you didn't do this...!

I wanted to repay him for helping me - by removing the weaknesses of his humanity.

Ianto

[horrified] What have you done? You've killed an innocent man!

It's all right.

Ianto

It's not all right! They're going to come looking for me in a minute! If they see the body, If they find out what we've been doing--

I can deal with them.

Ianto

Don't you go near them!

Jack

[pointing his gun at Ianto] Did you know that thing was down there?

Ianto

I put her there.

Jack

[enraged] You hid a Cyberman within Torchwood?! And you didn't tell us?! What else are you keeping from us?!

Ianto

[scathingly] Like you care. I clear up your shit, no questions asked, and that's the way you like it. When did you last ask me anything about my life? [pause] Her name's Lisa. She's my girlfriend.

Gwen

Why didn't you tell us? We could have helped you.

Ianto

Torchwood exists to destroy alien threats. Why would I tell you about her?

Owen

[angry] A little loyalty, perhaps?

Ianto

My loyalty's to her. She worked for Torchwood. She was caught up in the battle. I owe it to Lisa, we owe it to her, to find a cure.

Jack

Ianto, you have to believe me, there is no cure. There never will be. Those who are converted stay that way. Your girlfriend will not be the exception.

Ianto

You can't know that for sure!

Jack

Look, you need to know what's happening here. Because this is where these things start, small decisions that become mass slaughter. These creatures regain a foothold by exploiting human weakness. Then they take a base, rebuild their forces, and before you know it, the Cyber race is spreading out across the universe, erasing worlds, assimilating populations, all because of the tiny beginnings here. We need to stop her together!

Ianto

You're not listening to me. The conversion was never completed.

Jack

She already tried to kill Gwen. You think she's gonna stop there? There is no turning back for her now.

Ianto

I'm not giving up on her. I love her. Can you understand that, Jack? Haven't you ever loved anyone?

Jack

...You need to figure out whose side you're on here, because if you don't know, you're not going to make it out of this alive.