Owen Harper quotes from Torchwood

Owen

Preasure mounts in the brain, the lungs collapse (making breathing impossible) and then-

Owen

Rat jam.

Owen

[while cleaning Gwen's shotgun wound] There's going to be a certain amount of residue, so just lie back and think of Torchwood.

Owen

I started looking into devil worship and stuff from that era [the 1800s], see if there's anything about plucking out hearts, and would you believe it, there's nothing! They ate eyeballs, they drank blood, they had sex with animals, but they did not pluck out each others' hearts, because obviously, that would have been weird.

Owen

[supposedly telling Martha what death is like] There was a light, a tiny speck of light and I was rushing towards it, like down a corridor, and it got brighter, and brighter, then suddenly there were these gates... these big, pearly gates and there was this old geezer and he said, "You've been a very naughty boy!"

Owen

[Opening narration] My name is Doctor Owen Harper, and this is my life. A life that is full of action. And violence. And work and wonder. Secrets. And sex. And love. And heartbreak. Death. My death. The death I survived. The death I'm now living through. Except.... this isn't living. Every day is the same. I get up. Get ready for work. Same as everyone else. The thing is, I'm not the same. I get to work and everyone is doing the same old thing. Babbling away about aliens, weddings. I'm not real. Three days ago I died. And they think I'm fine. But they're wrong.

Owen

Yeah, I was brought back. Like Jesus really, but without the beard, you know. Shit, I'm never gonna have a beard. Not that I wanted one, you understand, but you know, one day I...

Owen

[about Gwen] That's the kind of daughter every mother must dream of. Cool as ice, packing an automatic.

Jack

Before we go any further, who the hell orders pizza under the name of "Torchwood"?

Owen

Er, yeah, that would be me. Sorry, I'm a twat.

Jack

This is Owen Harper.

Owen

Doctor Owen Harper.

Jack

All right, usual formation.

Gwen

What's the usual formation?

Owen

Varies.

Gwen

How can the usual formation vary?

Owen

Make yourself useful, sweetheart; pass us the big chisel from the toolbox.

Gwen

Not sweetheart, Gwen. One syllable, sure you can manage it.

Owen

Not sweetcheeks? Freckles? New girl?

Gwen

[getting out chisel] It's a shame your tool's not big enough for the job, darlin'. Catch!

Gwen

He just...

Jack

[deadpan] Came and went.

Owen

Now that's how I'd like to go.

I'm sure we could arrange it.

Owen

Happy birthday me. Oi, you lot, treat!

Wow.

Jack

Wow.

I thought she said she had a boyfriend.

Jack

You people and your quaint little categories.

We should really get her out of there...

Jack

Yeah... [pauses] I mean, yeah, come on!

Owen

I'll just... record a bit of this.

Gwen

Well, actually, um, we were sort of, well, snogging...

WE KNOW.

Gwen

You don't know anything?

Owen

Not who he is, not where he's from, not anything. Except... him being gay.

Gwen

No he's not. Really, do you think?

Toshiko

Owen does, I don't.

Ianto

And I don't care.

Owen

Period military is not the dress code of a straight man.

Gwen

I think it suits him. Sort of classic.

Toshiko

Exactly! I've watched him in action, he'll shag anything if it's gorgeous enough.

Gwen

We know he's from America, right?

Owen

Don't even know that for sure.

Toshiko

No US citizen by the name of Jack Harkness born in the last fifty years.

Gwen

Maybe his identity's classified.

Ianto

Used to be something big in the CIA, that's what I reckon.

Gwen

He must have his reasons for wanting to keep things secret.

Owen

Sure he has. Doesn't stop me from wanting to know.