Torchwood · Season 2, Episode 9
“Something Borrowed” · Season 2, Episode 9
In this episode: Jack Harkness (6), Gwen Cooper (4), Ianto Jones (4), Owen Harper (4), Rhys Williams (2), Toshiko Sato (2), Tosh (1)
We're not postponing the wedding. No way.
Forget the money, I want you where they can look after you, right? Getting married today doesn't matter.
It matters to me!! It's not about the money, Rhys. I want to marry you! Today. Whatever happens. If the skies suddenly fills full of spaceships, or an army of Weevils climbs out of the drains on St. Mary's Street, you fool! Do you not understand what I'm saying, Rhys Williams? All I want to do today is marry you. That's all I want to do.
The problem seems to be an American with no sense of timing or fashion.
It's a kind of alien egg. But don't worry, I'm going to look after you, I promise. We've got procedures for this situation.
You mean, this has happened before?
You've heard of immaculate conception, haven't you? Well...
[hitting on Toshiko] I'm Banana. [points to loud yellow cravat] Suppose you can tell why.
You come up in spots and go soft quickly?
Actually, I'm the best man.
Evolution is full of surprises.
So do you fancy a little drink later?
I'm sorry. I'm intolerant to vasoactive amines.
Huh?
Bananas make me vomit.
[Ianto is checking out wedding dresses]
Can I help you?
I'm looking for a wedding dress for my friend.
Of course you are, sir. You'd be surprised, we're quite used to men buying for their... "friends".
[looking through a dress catalogue] Nope, like that one. Good choice.
I estimated Gwen's size from the Hub's security laser scans. As you know, my dad was a master tailor; he could size a man's inside leg measurement by his stride across the shop threshold.
Ah, a family eye. Remind me to test it some time.
Well, if later on-
[walking through the threshold] Jack!
Yep, brilliant, like that one.
[talking about getting married] It'll happen for you one day, Tosh. There's always Owen.
I don't think so. "In sickness and in health, 'til death do us part". It's gonna sound like a bad joke.
[pointing gun at Brenda] Get back, you ugly bitch!
What are you doing, that's my mother!
No! It's the alien!
I'm not an alien!
Oh, you're good, I'll give you that.
But I'm not!
Yeah, and the Lone Ranger didn't have a thing with Tonto.
You sure you're ready for this, Owen? You know what a Nostrovite can do; you think you've got it covered a hundred feet away, and it's already chewing on you liver.
I don't need my liver.
What's is it with you? Ever since Owen died, all you've done is agree with him!
I was brought up not to speak ill of the dead. Even if they do still do most of their talking for themselves.
[about Gwen] That's the kind of daughter every mother must dream of. Cool as ice, packing an automatic.
What will you do while I'm gone?
Ooh, the usual. Pizza, Ianto, save the world a couple of times.
That's what I love about Torchwood. By day, you're chasing the scum of the universe, come midnight you're the wedding fairy.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Torchwood pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
