Top Gear quotes

James

A car I'm really looking forward to is the new Saab 95, here it is.

Jeremy

Unless of course Saab went bust in the last two weeks.

Richard

Oh god, which is a real possibility!

Jeremy

Tell you what seriously, James, James, really. Do this two ways, we will edit it.

James

Yeah.

Richard

Cover yourself.

James

[cheerful tone] A car I'm really looking forward to is the new Saab 95. There it is [car shown on the monitor]. [solemn tone] A car I was looking forward to was the new Saab 95. [laughter] That's what it was going to look like. They say --

Jeremy

No, they said.

James

What?

Jeremy

They said.

James

Oh, yes. They say, or said, that it's based on a jet fighter, or was, but it isn't wasn't. [laughter] It's actually based on a Vauxhall. You can or could get three engines, or maybe you could get three engines. The best of which was or is a 2.8 litre V6. That will start at about ?25,000. It looks great.

Jeremy

You know what James, why haven't you got a Saab?

James

Because they've gone bust.

Thanks very much for this wonderful honour and for this fabulous trophy. [chuckles] You must have spent a fortune on this! [points to the trophy name plate] My name's Brian, not "Brain". And that's an ice hockey player on top of there, look, but never mind. This'll do me for now. So have a great time at Christmas and I'll see you soon, guys. Thanks, everybody. Bye-bye.

Jeremy

Brain Johnson!

Richard

Well, I'm sorry.

Jeremy

That's the worst thing we've ever done.

Richard

It was cheap. It was cheap.

Jeremy

There was the time when James May, whilst following the Range Rover camera car, somehow managed to lose sight of it for a moment and then start following an entirely different Range Rover. And he failed to notice for an hour that it didn't have a camera crew in it and was in fact nothing to do with Top Gear at all.

Jeremy

Tonight, on new serious Top Gear, James catches fire, Richard knocks something over, and I crash a Reliant Robin into a lamp post.

Jeremy

Some say that his discharge is luminous, and that even as we speak, he is appearing on the main stage at Glastonbury performing his most famous hit, Superstition. All we know is, he's called the Stig!

James

Everybody, good news! Wait, it's better than you think! The new Dacia Duster is coming to the UK! (Crowd cheers and applauses)

Wow, I like the smell of burning rubber. God, it's addictive!

Jeremy

I don't believe that, the most exciting thing I've ever seen and some idiot at Television Centre cut to an advertisement for a stupid little Korean hatchback.

James

It's a good job ITV didn't cover the moon landings. 10 foot. BEEP. Five foot. BEEP. [singing] If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit...

Jeremy

Tonight, James gets wet, an actual spin doctor on our track, and the Stig laps a Reliant Robin.

Jeremy

Some say there are 17 different reasons why he's banned from the Northampton branch of Little Chef, and that his favorite airline pilot is Mark Webber. Two actually, all we know of course, he's the Stig!

Jeremy

The only reason you two didn't buy a Ford Sierra Sapphire Cosworth is because you've forgot about it.

Jeremy

Come on, I'm the tallest thing here.

Richard

It's not as bad as you think actually!

Jeremy

I'm trying to be killed by lightning!

Richard

What?

Jeremy

I'm trying to be killed by lightning!

Richard

Sorry?

Jeremy

... Are you deaf?!

Richard

Sorry?

Jeremy

This is ridiculous!

Richard

The judges' decisions are final!

Jeremy

Say, say the BMW is the most spacious because it was made in Bavaria. It's...that's, that's like saying, "Who's the tallest Top Gear presenter? It's Richard Hammond because he's from Birmingham!".

Richard

No! It's not!

Richard

No, it really is, it really is the most spacious car. That's the fact, and that's the judges' decision, live with it!

James

Hey! Good news! No, I have secured some top secret film taken inside the factory of the new Dacia Duster being made.

Jeremy

Excellent! Excellent! [quickly] anyway..

James

Here it is. Porsche call it the Sport Classic, but I prefer to think of it as, "Now that's what I call the best of the 911 Volume 1".