[On the News]
Jeremy: A cow does more global warming than a Range Rover.

[on the Nissan 350Z]
Jeremy: [voiceover] Well, to be honest, I think it looks a bit of a mess. But then it would, because it's a Japanese car designed in America. And the head of the whole project was a chap called Ajay Panchal, who's an Indian. From Leicester. And the engine? Well, that's French. Incongruously, it's the three-and-a-half-litre V6 from the Renault Vel Satis.
Jeremy: [at the wheel] We've had fusion food before, but this is the first time that I've ever encountered a fusion car. Think of it as being a raw-hamburger curry served in a disinterested way on a bed of garlicky jus.

[on the Noble]
James: This is a bathroom appliance.

[on the old Jaguar S-Type]
James: You see, Mr. Jonathan Foreigner has this ridiculously outdated view of what Britain is. He thinks we all live in Anne Hathaway's cottage and then go out to Ye Olde Tea Rooms where we eat some Kendal mint cake. And then maybe we'll go out and find a red phone box and ring up some Beefeaters at the Tower of London to see if we can have our bowler hats back. It's rubbish!

[on the Overfinch-modified Range Rover]
Jeremy: It's a bit like sliding down a black run in a wardrobe. It's a giggle, but you've got no real say in your direction of travel.

[On the Peel P50]
Jeremy [shouting]: What I've got down here by my right leg making noise and generating quite a bit of heat is the 49cc engine from a moped! Top speed rather depends on how big you are, and actually how much you had for breakfast. But realistically, even the skinniest, shortest chap with the whitest of teeth would struggle to get past... 35?

[On the Peel P50]
Jeremy: Built on the Isle of Man in the early 60's, the P50 was said to be almost cheaper than walking. It cost 150 pounds and did 100 miles to the gallon. It sounds perfect, then, for the roads of today.

[on the Peugeot 307 CC and Renault Mégane CC]
Richard: As we stand here, both of these cars are slowly sinking into the floor. They're that heavy.
Jeremy: So if I were to say to you, "OK, I'm going to shave your poodle... "
Richard: Right.
Jeremy: "... unless you tell me which one you'd have."
Richard: [looks at a loss]
Jeremy: Which one or the poodle's bald.
Richard: ... Bring on the razor, mate, I'm afraid.

[on the phone with an insurance company]
Jeremy: Hello, are you the people who can "quote me happy" ?

[On the Porsche 911 Sport Classic]
James: Here it is. Porsche call it the Sport Classic, but I prefer to think of it as, "Now that's what I call the best of the 911 Volume 1".

[on the Porsche 911 Turbo]
James: So you spun it, then.
Jeremy: I spun it slightly.
James: What do you mean "slightly"? How can you slightly spin? That's like saying "I slightly fell off a ladder this morning."

[on the Porsche 996 GT3]
Richard: It makes no apologies for what it is, so if you want a comfy ride, get another car. If you want to be cool on a hot day, get another car. If you want height adjustment on the seats... which I don't... get another car.

[On the Porsche Boxster Spyder]
James: There's more, or rather less. There is no standard air con. The door handles are being replaced by these little bits of rag, and they even dished the piece of plastic that goes on top of the instrument. What Porsche do, is they...they leave a lot of things that you should get on the Boxster on a shelf, in a factory, and then they charge you more for not giving them to you.
James: This is a really happy car. It's full of vibrant energy and enthusiasm, it's a bit like of those really stupid dogs, I bet if you threw a ball, it'd chase after it.

[On the Porsche Boxster]
James: Meet the new Boxster, same as the old Boxster.
[Later on]
James: This is a bargain. The best we ever had!

[on the Porsche Cayman]
Jeremy: It's called the Cayman and I know what you're thinking, you're thinking, "that's not a new car, it's just a Boxster with a roof." You have got a point, it's got the same controls as the Boxster. They should've called it the Coxster!