TV QuotesDatabase
22 SEASONS

TV show quotes

Top Gear quotes

1,774 quotes · page 62 of 119

S10 E2October 14th, 2007

[voiceover] Meanwhile, back with Captain Pugwash...

Sod it. Right sail. [James' sail swings round and the boom hits him in the head] Oww. Bloody thing.

CGCoast Guard pilot over radio

Please state your intentions.

Our intentions are to cross the Channel faster than Beardy Branson.

CGCoast Guard pilot over radio

In that case, I wish you the best of luck.

[voiceover] Having missed all the big scary boats, we turned our attention back to Branson's record.

Ready? Ready... one hour, forty minutes coming up... now! [proudly] WE'VE FAILED!

Yay! We lost!

S10 E3October 28th, 2007

[During the opening sequence.]

Tonight: James drives a Rolls-Royce. Richard drives a Bugatti Veyron. And I drive something that isn't either of those things.[Shows video of Jeremy driving a Peel P50 round the BBC Office]

Imagine if you will that you've bought a Bugatti Veyron. It's a big investment! You'd be very excited about the day it was to be arriving. So you'd imagine such a thing would be delivered, you know, on like a golden carriage on a bed of swan's feathers. It's a special moment in your life.

I'd want mine borne aloft by sixteen greased, naked eunuchs. That's what I'd want.

Whatever, the point is, that's the sort of thing you'd expect. It's a big moment. In Russia they do things a little bit differently. Here is one, being transported... [photo of a Veyron on the back of a grubby, industrial Russian truck] There's your Bugatti. [bad Russian accent] "I've brought your Bugatti, sir, it is here!" What, it's on a flatbed pickup!

[also in bad Russian accent] Great success!

That's a disappointment in your life.

[on The Stig]

Some say that he gets terrible eczema on his helmet, and that if he'd been the video ref in the World Cup rugby final, he would've seen that of course it was a try, you blind Australian half-wit! All we know is, he's called the Stig.

[On the Peel P50]

Built on the Isle of Man in the early 60's, the P50 was said to be almost cheaper than walking. It cost 150 pounds and did 100 miles to the gallon. It sounds perfect, then, for the roads of today.

[On the Peel P50]

Jeremy [shouting]: What I've got down here by my right leg making noise and generating quite a bit of heat is the 49cc engine from a moped! Top speed rather depends on how big you are, and actually how much you had for breakfast. But realistically, even the skinniest, shortest chap with the whitest of teeth would struggle to get past... 35?

[Whilst driving through London in the Peel P50]

There's something I just realised. I have to pay congestion charge in this part of London. But the camera crew in the Lexus 4x4 don't because it's a hybrid. How fair is that?! I mean, it's not like I'm creating any pollution at all! [accelerates, leaving a trail of smoke behind him]

[Ending their feature of the Reventón]

Couple of problems: One, they're only making twenty and only one's coming to Britain; the other thing is, eight hundred thousand pounds!

Yep, that is quite a lot...

Hmmn... But with this, you would get a lot of badge.

Badge? (ponders, then realizes...)... Oh! V-NO! No no no.

Think I got away with that. So!

[watching Fiona Bruce walk away from the P50] She has got quite a nice bottom. ... I said that out loud, didn't I.

S10 E4November 4th, 2007

[reading challenge] "The people of Surrey think they need four-wheel drive cars because they live up a lane which sometimes has leaves on it. You will now attempt to prove them wrong by driving your two-wheel drive cars from here, at Botswana's Eastern border with Zimbabwe..." [points at armed border guards] which is there... "1000 miles to its Western border with Namibia. That's right across the spine of Africa."

[Awkward silence]

I'm confident.

[James comments on Jeremy's and Richard's car choice] You've both been idiots.

No!

Brilliantly interesting [points to the Opel] brilliantly stylish [points to the Lancia Beta] but stupid.

But...

Why's mine stupid?

Wha...where is yours? [James points to behind him] Whoa! Haha, a Lancia? You have been a bit thick.

These quotes come from Wikiquote's Top Gear pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.