[on the Subaru Legacy Outback]
I almost forgot to tell you what it's like to drive. Well, I quite like it, actually. It's relaxing and it's... unstressful.
S3 E3November 9th, 2003
This whole survey throws up some fascinating stuff. Like the Porsche 911. A favorite car of mine, known for its... somewhat scary handling sometimes. Ninety-six percent of 911 owners in this survey claim to be absolutely satisfied with their car's handling, which is very good. It leaves four percent, and they probably were entirely satisfied with the handling of their 911 right up until they hit the tree. Then they changed their mind.
Yeah, but think of it this way. The people who got their bone marrow and their eyes are very satisfied with the handling of the 911.
What do you drive, sir?
AMAudience member
A 355.
A Ferrari. There's an interesting statistic on Ferrari, ah... what is it, James?
[consulting clipboard] Um, 90% of people who said they had a Ferrari were lying.
[after Richard's sinking-car film, in which he needed the rescue diver's help to escape the car]
So did you die in the making of that film?
Well, yeah. I mean, if it was real, yes, I did.
And the thing is, it was very lucky you were in the GL model, 'cause that was the one that did come with the diver in the back seat with the aqualung.
Yeah. If it'd been an L, pfft. That would've been it, curtains.
[on people carriers]
Obviously all of them are uncool. If you buy a people - anyone got one? You have. Basically what you're saying about yourself, sir, is: you've had your children and now you're just waiting to die.
All dentists have Saabs, OK? All. And graphic designers all have them, and all architects have them, and all Stephen Frys have them.
[on the Saab "night panel" function]
That's handy if you want to line up for a bombing run on a Soviet nuclear submarine base, but of limited use on the A38 just outside Burton-on-Trent.
Now what I'd like to do at this point to demonstrate the difference between car and plane even more is bolt the Stig into the Saab here and have him race a fighter jet round our track. [laughing] Only trouble is, can you imagine ringing up the Royal Navy and saying, "Hello, I'm from that pokey motoring programme on BBC, would it be possible to borrow one of your Sea Harriers?" You can imagine what the response would be.
[cut to a shot of a Sea Harrier taxiing into position next to the Stig-driven Saab at the start/finish line of the test track]
[voiceover] Yes, they were there in a jiffy.
[On the Saab 9-5 Hot Aero] The handling is just hysterical. It's like driving a - fast! - bouncy castle!
S3 E4November 16th, 2003
[During the opening sequence.]
Tonight: Richard drives a green Lamborghini; James drives a blue Lamborghini; and I drive a yellow Lamborghini.
[voiceover] And as befits the decade that celebrated being young and groovy, youth created the Miura. The man who designed its gorgeous body was just 22.
Think about that. What were you doing at 22? At that age the cars I was drawing still had guns on them.
So, beautiful and ingenious it may have been, but in terms of driving, you were still at the wheel of a bit of a dog's breakfast. The fuel tank was over the front wheels, so as it ran low on fuel, it went light at the front end, which meant you couldn't steer. Nice touch, that. Keeps you on your toes. The interior is, well, tiny, and every now and again the carburettors would spit petrol onto the hot engine and the whole thing would go up in flames. Gooood.
Lamborghini knew their masterpiece wasn't perfect, and they steadily improved it throughout its life, culminating in this: the SV of 1971. It had a better gearbox, better differential, better tyres, better rear suspension, and these better gold wheels. D'you know what it was? It was better.
[examining Jay Kay's Miura SV]
Um, Jay, I did notice there's, uh, there's no window in.
JJay
Well, I'll tell you what I did with the window. [opens driver's door]
Re-enact it for us.
JJay
I will re-enact it.
Go on, then.
[Jay shuts the door normally and mimes the window shattering]
Oh, you closed the door! You mad, impetuous rock star fool. You were asking for trouble, Jay!
JJay
You know, I mean, that's rock 'n roll, hey?
This is a man with a two-tone beard who's come here to tell us about style.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Top Gear pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.