[During the opening sequence.]
Tonight: We drive the new Bugatti in Italy; we drive the new Bugatti in Switzerland and France; and we drive the new Bugatti in London.
“December 11th, 2005” · Season 7, Episode 5
In this episode: Jeremy Clarkson (12), Richard Hammond (5), James May (4)
[After Hammond's review of the Marcos TSO]
[opening the door of the Marcos TSO] What's this?
Erm...
[showing what he found] It's a tooth-whitening kit.
It's a plant! It's a plant!
It was just a theory until a moment ago...
[on the Stig]
Some say he can swim seven lengths under water, and he has webbed buttocks... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
Now, I'm dying to know the verdict, but first, something more important... your hat! What were you thinking?! You were like the dog car in Dumb and Dumber [makes a face referring to the hat James was wearing in the 2WD Vs. AWD 911 challenge]
[leans toward Hammond] Listen! That hat is haute couture in rallying circles.
[On the News]
A cow does more global warming than a Range Rover.
[Introducing Nigel Mansell]
He was the Formula 1 world champion and the American Indy car champion at the same time, and he was also Britain's highest paid sportsman, and he achieved all this despite being born with a moustache.
[on Nigel Mansell's moustache]
I always thought it was interchangeable with your eyebrows.
[Starting off the car vs. plane race]
Now normally when we have these races Jeremy goes in a car and says "POWEEEEEEER" a lot, and Richard and I will go on a ferry, or a train, or an airliner, or whatever. But this time it's slightly different because I've been learning to fly.
So you see, the scene was set, okay? It would be Captain Captain Slow and his Hammond hand luggage in a private plane versus me in a car.
[in May's Cessna 182.]
We've got no bloody forks!
Stop whinging about the ruddy in-flight food, man! And don't jig about because we're climbing... We're struggling in a minute...
I am not jigging! How rubbish is this thing if I can't even lift a chocolate bar to my face without it crashing into a mountain?
[on May's Cessna 182.]
What's it called?
[to Jeremy on the phone] Cessna 182; I think "182" refers to the number of quid it cost, I suspect.
Captain Slow is up there in his washing machine. I will not be beaten by a washing machine.
That isn't so much a throttle that my right foot's on, it's a hyperspace button. World's going backwards!
[on the phone with an insurance company]
Hello, are you the people who can "quote me happy" ?
[after the above attempt failed]
I've spent half an hour talking to a man, telling him where you were born, how many children you've got, where you live, what your postcode is, and then he says "Is a Bugatti a Rover?". Well, they've quoted me miserable there.
[on the Veyron]
Even though there are these huge cooling ducts here and the engine has no cover at all, that thing has ten radiators. Three to cool the engine itself, three for the intercoolers, one to do the axle oil, one to do the engine oil and one to cool the hydraulic fluid used to raise that rear spoiler. It's got more radiators than my house!
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