[During the opening sequence.]
Tonight: the best toys in the whole world; a car made on Memory Lane; and Audi's new RS4 races a thin man up a thick cliff.
“November 20th, 2005” · Season 7, Episode 2
In this episode: Jeremy Clarkson (6), Richard Hammond (4), James May (3)
[on the Stig]
Some say that he has no understanding of clouds, and that his earwax tastes like Turkish delight... all we know is, he's called the Stig.
[following the Porsche Cayman power lap; the car has been disparaged by Jeremy for being made merely to fill a gap between the 911 and Boxster rather than to be as good as possible, and because their Producer has bought one as an "investment"]
And he did it in 1:26.7, so it goes...
[struggling to make a space on the board]
...there. In front of a Corvette.
Interesting that you've made a space actually, because I reckon if you sent Porsche 911 and a Boxster around as well, the 911 would've gone about there [points randomly above the Cayman's time], and the Boxster - I dunno - about there [points about the same distance below the Cayman's time].
Yep, you're exactly right, and I'm just looking at this [points to the Cayman's time], 1:26, that's what it's worth.
[on the Porsche Cayman]
It's called the Cayman and I know what you're thinking, you're thinking, "that's not a new car, it's just a Boxster with a roof." You have got a point, it's got the same controls as the Boxster. They should've called it the Coxster!
[racing two speed climbers in an Audi RS4]
I will not be beaten by two adrenaline junkies who call everyone "dude."
[Into radio whilst sitting in a full-size remote control car as James crashes it] You are utterly useless!
[as a passenger in a life-size radio-controlled car, which Richard is attempting to park in an improvised carport garage lined with cheap porcelain trinkets] He's doing it good. Well done.
[the car advances]
[into radio] Brake, man! Brake! [the car smashes ornaments on shelves over the bonnet]
Sorry.
[Richard takes down the whole garage as he reverses out]
NO!
Sorry.
[Voiceover whilst controlling a life-size remote control car towing a caravan about to be hit by the "Wrecking Ball of Doom"] For once, I was hoping the caravan would survive.
[Demonstrating the new Vauxhall Astra VXR remote control car]
OK, it's over there, it's a Vauxhall VXR [car starts to approach them] Here it comes. And if you just watch carefully, you will note that it has now taken off. [car starts to float] It's flying!
It's floating!
No it's not floating, James. It's flying!
[Audience laughs]
There is a man controlling that! I mean, have you ever seen anything like this in your whole life? That is a ton of Vauxhall flying around the studio over people's heads. I will explain how it works, OK? It weighs about 10lbs, which is about the same as my Sunday joint and it has three little propellers that make it steer and move about.
That's amazing! Is it expensive?
Yes! It costs... five... pounds [Audience laughs] No, I'm joking, it costs £60,000.
Really?
£60,000 and worth every penny. Ladies and gentlemen, the flying Vauxhall. [audience applauds]
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