Jeremy Clarkson quotes from Top Gear

Jeremy

So, with the very greatness of Britain resting on his shoulders, the Stig is away.

Jeremy

That is German music! The treacherous Stig's listening to Beethoven! Although he probably knows it simply as the tune from the IBM ad.

Jeremy

Tonight: Audi's new V6 ankle bracelet; A moment of madness from Aston Martin; And Johnny Vegas in our Reasonably-Priced Car - which should be interesting since he can't drive!

Jeremy

Your job's to shut up.

Jeremy

[trying to get onto the buyer list for a Ford GT] Fords are magnificent in every way.

Jeremy

It manages to be so heavy when it's made out of spit and Kleenex.

Jeremy

Tonight: Cameron Diaz tests Lamborghini's lightweight Murciélago naked; We drive Schumacher's F1 Ferrari; And our Star in a Reasonably-Priced Car is her Majesty, the Queen.

Jeremy

Now, of course, being a coupé, the styling is hugely important, and... oh dear.

Jeremy

Nought to 60 takes 7.2 seconds. There are animals which are faster than that.

Jeremy

So. It looks like a dog doing a poo; it's slow, uncomfortable, expensive, and cursed with a cramped, badly trimmed interior, an awful gearbox and no back seats. The engine doesn't make a particularly sporty noise, the ride is terrible, and it isn't especially economical.

Jeremy

Now those were the nominations, but I'm overruling all of them. I'm playing my joker and I'm going to say that the winner is the BMW... range!

Jeremy

Tonight: an awful new car from Rover; a brilliant new car from Aston Martin; and the Apache helicopter gunship: can it get missile lock on a Lotus Exige?

Jeremy

"A dog makes a better noise than that if you tread on it" (Regarding a Strokes song the show used).

Jeremy

[trying to out-manoeuvre an Apache helicopter's radar in a Lotus Exige] The best helicopter gunship in the world, flown by the best pilots in the world, the British Army, against the best handling car in the world, driven by an idiot.

Jeremy

That's not something you see everyday, a gunship in your rear view mirror.

Jeremy

Get out of the way, you Polish lorry! Why are you cluttering up our roads with Latvian milk?!