Jeremy Clarkson quotes from Top Gear

Jeremy

It's a bit like sliding down a black run in a wardrobe. It's a giggle, but you've got no real say in your direction of travel.

Jeremy

If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you've seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.

Jeremy

In tonight's programme: As you've just seen - The Stig has gone Top Gun; James will be looking at the new 5-Series BMW and I'll be giving myself a brain tumour!

Jeremy

No one knows what torque is, but this has 144 of them.

Jeremy

I love people's faces in traffic jams, they always look so miserable. Could be worse, you could be shot in the back of the head by a marksman.

Jeremy

What have I done to my head?!

Jeremy

This is what happens when you don't let people drink.

Jeremy

Uhh... that was not supposed to happen.

Jeremy

Tonight: we drive like this... (showing a corner being tackled sideways) on the road!!!... Stephen Fry in our Reasonably-Priced Car... and how many caravans can you jump with a Volvo?

Jeremy

I have some bad news. The Stig is dead.

Jeremy

It's like Beverly Hills with kippers.

Jeremy

Think of it as a BMW with bulimia.

Jeremy

You even look at that engine, it'll kill you.

Jeremy

You have to sign a disclaimer before you buy a CSL saying that you understand that the tyres won't work in the rain or if it's a bit chilly. What a car!

Jeremy

Some of the laws they have are fabulous! Handguns, for instance, are legal there! And you can be charged with "furious driving"! I'd love to have that on my licence!

Jeremy

You will never hear anyone say, "Look at that maniac in that Saab!"

Jeremy

But it's strange, because most of the people I know who speak Latin find cars really rather trivial and infantile.