A character in Top Gear
Played by Jeremy Clarkson
Top Gear · 1,774 quotes
Most-quoted character in Top Gear: in 1,331 of its 1,774 quotes
Most scenes with: Richard Hammond (406), James May (323), Stephen Ladyman (5)
[On The Stig]
JeremySome say that this week he is wearing two layers of Nomex. [slow-building laughter] And that on a recent trip to Cornwall, he stopped off for one of his special big wees in Somerset. [laughter] All we know is he's called The Stig!
[On The Stig]
JeremySome say that he once put Helen Mirren in a dishwasher. And that at the Winter Olympics he was disqualified from the skeleton event for riding down the hill on an actual skeleton. All we know is he's called The Stig!
[While driving the Touring Disco Volante]
Jeremy[voiceover] So, it doesn't feel like an 8C. And it certainly doesn't sound like one either.
JeremyOh, it's the most… soulful-sounding car I think I've ever heard. It's as though the entire exhaust system is actually made out of Otis Redding.
[During the opening sequence]
Jeremy[voice over] Tonight, Richard opens a glove box, James pulls a face, and I ask an important question. [spoken on camera] Have you ever put toothpaste on your testicles?
[On The Stig]
JeremySome say that his hair is the exact same shape as a hat. And that if he worked for CNN… [rubs his hands together as the audience laughs] …he wouldn't get such pitifully low ratings that his show got cancelled. [loud laughter and applause as Jeremy smiles broadly]
[On The Stig]
JeremySome say that his favourite football formation is 8-8-19, and that while we were off-air his iCloud was hacked and now everyone in the world has seen his helmet. All we know is he's called The Stig!
[During the opening sequence]
JeremyTonight, Richard drives a van, I drive an old brown Porsche and James uses a telephone
[during the rescue sequence]
JeremyYou're in good shape lad, I can take care of you
[During the opening sequence]
JeremyTonight, a BMW i8 full track in Yorkshire, the queen of Hollywood on our track, and a pointless thing about old Land Rovers.
[On The Stig]
JeremySome say that last week he won a BAFTA for ‘Best Original Smell’, and that when he dies he thinks he’ll go to Devon. All we know is he’s called the Stig!
[On a right-hand drive Ford Mustang trying too hard to appear British]
JeremySo that realistically should be called, now that it's coming here, the 'Ford Bloody Quid Mate'.
[During the opening sequence]
JeremyTonight, the new Porsche Cayman on our track, the Ferrari LaFerrari at the limit in Italy Italy, and an old Peugeot goes past some goats.
[On The Stig]
JeremySome say that his favourite flower is the potato, and that even though he’s seen Fifty Shades of Grey he still thinks BDSM is a driving school. All we know is he’s called the Stig!
[During the opening sequence.]
JeremySo, the Winter Olympics are being held in Italy, which when you look at the place, seems to be a bit too warm. That's why we're in Norway, a proper winter country. And we've got some proper winter sports lined up for you. So welcome then, to the Top Gear Winter Olympics. It's the Winter Olympics, speeded up a bit!
Jeremy[producing an MP5A4 from the boot of his Volvo XC90] Not only is he using the wrong car, he's using the wrong gun. A .22 is alright when you're nine, but when you're in a hurry you need one of these: a Heckler and Koch MP5 machine pistol. That's on fully automatic... EAT LEAD Olympic target! [he fires an entire magazine in fully automatic mode and misses all five targets]
[after emptying an entire magazine at the 2nd targets and only managing to cut down a tree, he waits at the Penalty gate, hysterial with frustration]
JeremySTEVIE WONDER COULD'VE DONE BETTER!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Top Gear pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
