A character in Top Gear
Played by Jeremy Clarkson
Top Gear · 1,774 quotes
Most-quoted character in Top Gear: in 1,331 of its 1,774 quotes
Most scenes with: Richard Hammond (406), James May (323), Stephen Ladyman (5)
JeremyUsed to live in Fulham right next to the car pound in London. so you could drive up the west end, have a few drinks, leave the car, wobble home best way you could, wake up in the morning, they've towed it home for you. It was pricy, but kind of worth it.
[Watching Michael Gambon in the Suzuki Liana.]
JeremyYou had to look at the gear lever to change there. Which is kind of like reading moving your lips... which I suppose is what you do for a living really.
[During the opening sequence.]
JeremyIn tonight's Top Gear: The ultimate family cars; what is the best hot hatchback; and the Stig meets his match on our track.
JeremyNo, you see I had one last week: Boxster S, new car, fantastic really, the most beautifully balanced... I felt like a prat.
[On the news of the MV Tricolor sinking with nearly 3000 new cars on board]
JeremyBut there's plenty to talk about. Most important of all, of course, Jacques Cousteau opened a dealership in the English Channel.
[On the MG SV.]
JeremyIf Oliver Reed and Russell Crowe made mad man-love on the set of Gladiator in an angry brawl, this would be the result.
[During the opening sequence.]
JeremyIn tonight's top gear: The Mick Jagger of supercars; our quest goes on to find Britain's fastest faith; and the Stig sorts out TVR's new coupe.
[During the opening sequence.]
JeremyOn tonight's Top Gear: Richard Hammond in a V8 tumbledryer; The classiest way to bankrupt yourself; And we turn up the heat on the world's dullest car!
JeremyIt's the trouble, brothers and sisters - they're all related.
[on the Smart Roadster's transmission]
JeremyThe thing is, it's a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever... "Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power sta-- I'm a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I'm gonna swap some cogs around!"
[on the Smart Roadster]
JeremyIn fact, it has exactly the same top speed as Henry the Eighth.
[Introducing guest Vinnie Jones.]
JeremyHe would drive a large Mercedes to a fight and occasionally during that fight a game of football might break out.
[During the opening sequence.]
JeremyOn tonight's Top Gear: Jamie Oliver's meals on wheels; A German sledgehammer in a velvet bag; And which is the fastest political party?
[During the opening sequence.]
JeremyTonight: A new take on the world's worst BMW; A Starsky, in our reasonably priced Hutch; And the world's finest supercars, head to head.
[on the Alpina Z8]
JeremyIt must be said, this looks just as good as the original, and it's just as left-hand-drive as the original. But: does it go any better? Well, after much careful deliberation, the simple answer is... no.
[...]
JeremyGetting it round a corner is like trying to get my wardrobe up a fire escape. It's very hard work, and it's hard to see where you're going.
[...]
JeremyThis must be the first-ever tuned car that's slower than the original.
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