[During the opening sequence.]
On tonight's Top Gear: Richard Hammond in a V8 tumbledryer; The classiest way to bankrupt yourself; And we turn up the heat on the world's dullest car!
“May 11th, 2003” · Season 2, Episode 1
In this episode: Jeremy Clarkson (7), Richard Hammond (2), James May (1)
It's the trouble, brothers and sisters - they're all related.
[On his Bentley T2] I've got furniture that handles better than this thing!
[while driving a Bowler Wildcat off-road vehicle]
I am a driving god!
It's in the script I should argue with you, but I'm not going to because I love that car. Anyway, that's it for this evening, and--
Actually, no it's not, that isn't it, because--
It seems the Driving God has more to say, at this point. What is it, Driving God?
Things I wish I'd never said...
[on the Smart Roadster's transmission]
The thing is, it's a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever... "Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power sta-- I'm a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I'm gonna swap some cogs around!"
[on the Smart Roadster]
In fact, it has exactly the same top speed as Henry the Eighth.
[Introducing guest Vinnie Jones.]
He would drive a large Mercedes to a fight and occasionally during that fight a game of football might break out.
Now as I understand it you still hold the world record for being sent off in a game of football, don't you? Cause it's five seconds wasn't it?
VVinnie
Yeah, this was... I ran on and it was like a minute.
No, you've done it in five seconds, that's quicker than a minute.
VVinnie
Well no, 'bout a second actually. Mostly came on...
One second?
VVinnie
Yeah.
See, I'm intrigued, not being a footballist I have to admit, how do you reach an opposing player to commit some kind of atrocity in that time?
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