Jeremy Clarkson quotes from Top Gear

Jeremy

Tonight: A Formula One world champion is the Star In Our Reasonably Priced Car; the Jaguar E-Type and the Aston Martin DB5; and the British Army shoots me in the face.

Jeremy

(voiceover) It seems like a strange result. I mean, when Jaguar launched the E-Type they said it would do 150 miles an hour. So how could it lose to a Japanese box? Well, let me explain.

Jeremy

They were lying!

Jeremy

Some say that his breath smells of magnesium, and that he's scared of bells... all we know is, he's called the Stig.

Jeremy

I'VE JUST SOILED MYSELF!!!!!

Jeremy

I've been shot in the ear, the lungs, and there's a big mess in my pants!

Jeremy

Come on automatic gearbox, WAKE UP!

Jeremy

Tonight: Question Time comes to our Reasonably-Priced Car; Aston's DB9 racer comes to our track; and an offshore powerboat against a Mercedes SLR.

Jeremy

Some say he naturally faces magnetic north, and that all of his legs are hydraulic... all we know is, he's called the Stig.

Jeremy

[laughing] 101 classic speeches from... Mrs. Thatcher! [impersonating Thatcher] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, this lady's not for turning.

Jeremy

I wonder what the fastest anyone has ever been... in a Eurotunnel train...? How tempting is it to... [depressing accelerator momentarily] No, no, no no. No, grow up!

Jeremy

[after having the Eurotunnel train safety instructions start in French] Oh, we gotta have it in French! [pause] Start the train!

Jeremy

Heathrow...To Oslo. I'm mad for doing this.

Jeremy

[On the Alfa Romeo Brera] You can have a diesel, if you're the sort of person who thinks the Mona Lisa should have a moustache.

Jeremy

Tonight: a rock-star gets in a jam; attacking the Nürburgring in a van; and is a car faster than a man?

Jeremy

Some say that he lives in a tree, and that his sweat can be used to clean precious metals... all we know is, he's called the Stig.