Fox Mulder quotes from The X-Files

Scully

Rattlesnakes and medieval visions of damnation. Well, I for one, feel a whole lot closer to God.

Mulder

I don't know, Scully. When you... when you get right down to it is snake handling any harder to buy into than communion wafers or transubstantiation...?

Scully

Or believing in flying saucers, for that matter.

Mulder

Reverend, do something about these snakes, please.

You got nothing to fear if you're righteous people.

Mulder

(very nervous) Just in case we're not, we could use a little righteous help here.

Your FBI partner could've learned something about herself if you hadn't stopped me. Some powerful good news, maybe.

Mulder

I'd say it's good news for you that she's not here right now, considering what you tried to do to her.

Scully

Mulder, where'd you go?

Mulder

End of the road. (Goes to Harold) He's OK, it's OK.

My son! You...you saw my son?

Mulder

He's dead, they're all dead, Harold. Your son, Amber Lynn, my sister.

No!

Mulder

Harold, you see so much, but you refuse to see him. You refuse to let him go. But you have to let him go now Harold, he's protected, he's in a better place, they're all in a better place, we both have to let go, Harold.

You're wrong. I'm gonna find him...I don't believe you!

Scully

Mulder, what happened? Are you sure you're all right?

Mulder

I'm fine. I'm free.

Mulder

Deputy, can you describe for me what you saw?

Deputy Wetzel

Um - Well, I mean it was pretty dark, you know.. I-I didn't really see.. I don't know wha-, I don't know.

Mulder

Well you must have seen something in order to run away from it, huh? You were responding to the same call we were - Of a monster prowling the neighborhood.

We've been to this house before - The lady has a history of medication - You know what I mean?

Mulder

Yeah, maybe - But she's not the only one seeing monsters. There's been half a dozen such sightings in this area in the past 60 days. Were you aware of that? (looks at Wetzel and Duthie)

Deputy Wetzel

(shrugs) ..No.

Mulder

(speaking to Wetzel after he is attacked) I'm sorry, but you're going to have to be isolated and kept under guard.

With all due respect, what the *bleep* are you talking about?

Mulder

I'm talking about preventing this man from becoming a danger to himself and to others.

..Can I see your badge again?

Scully

(smiling sweetly) Agent Mulder? Can we have a word a second?

Mulder

Yeah. Excuse me..

Mulder

..Yeah, what is it?

Scully

"What is it"? Mulder, have you noticed that we're on television?

Mulder

I don't think it's live television, Scully. She just said *bleep*.

Scully

But it's a camera, and it's recording - [notices camera crew, walks further away with Mulder] It's recording everything you are saying, do you understand that? I just wanna make sure you're clear on that.

Mulder

Sure, I'm clear on that Scully.

Scully

My point being, Mulder, is that we're on a case.

Mulder

This presents an opportunity - I feel we're very close here. The possibility of capturing concrete proof of the paranormal; a werewolf, in front of a national audience, even an international audience - What's not to love?

Scully

Well - [notices camera and walks away with Mulder again] Look, Mulder, you want to talk about werewolves to me you can knock yourself out. I may not agree with you but at least I'm not going to hold it against you but this.. Mulder, this could ruin your career.

Mulder

(chuckling) What career? ..Scully, I appreciate it - You don't want me looking foolish. I do. I appreciate that.

Scully

I don't want me looking foolish, Mulder.

Mulder

I'd have to say that at, uh, this point in the investigation, I'm-I'm usually more secure in-in what it is we are actually investigating, but.. we've had so many conflicting eyewitness reports that it's-it's hard to ascertain exactly what it is we're looking for... But the crimes we are investigating are-are paranormal. Uh, I can say that - With absolute conviction. Um.. and-and the nature of these crimes - they're-they're notoriously difficult to quantify on any rigorous scientific level, as Agent Scully will tell you.

Scully

Ohh yeah.

Mulder

Yeah, which-which in its own way is-is a kind of a validation, if you think about it in and of itself. Uh, but, you know, that-that's our job - That's why they pay us the big bucks.

Deputy Wetzel

It's hard to have a fast-track career in law enforcement when everybody thinks you're nuts.

Mulder

Tell me about it.

Mulder

[on the phone] Mulder.

Scully

Mulder, please tell me I can go home.

Mulder

Oh, hey, Scully. How's the stakeout?

Scully

Well, the furnace broke and I can just about see my breath in here.

Mulder

Ouch. I'm sorry to hear that.

Scully

That... and I've witnessed a couple hundred things I'd like to erase from my brain. Eww. But as of yet, no mystery woman.

Mulder

Well, she'll come, you know? It's just a matter of time. She'll show up - I'm sure of that.

Scully

Yeah, well not before I die of malnutrition.

Mulder

Hey, Scully, tough it out. Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Right? [to Ellen, who is putting some dishes on his plate] No, no, no, no. No capers, thank you.

Scully

I'm sorry. What?

Mulder

I said, "What a... what a crazy caper." I'll talk to you later... and, uh, keep warm. Bye.

Mulder

[on the phone] Mulder.

Scully

Mulder, when you find me dead, my desiccated corpse propped up staring lifelessly through the telescope at drunken frat boys peeing and vomiting into the gutter just know that my last thoughts were of you and how I'd like to kill you.

Skinner

Dr. Voss, can you enlighten us as to what Dr. Scobie intended to tell the grand jury? We know it had to do with company research.

I'm sorry. Dr. Voss would be in violation of his employment confidentiality clause in answering that question.

Skinner

Dr. Scobie was your friend?

Yeah, for 14 years, mm-hmm.

Skinner

And yet you demoted him five weeks ago. You took him off a particular project. Can you tell us why that happened?

[interrupting] As before, Dr. Voss would be in violation of his confidentiality clause in answering questions regarding the nature of his work here at Morley. I'm sure you understand our cooperation cannot extend itself to revealing corporate secrets.

Skinner

[getting pissed] Yeah, I'm not sensing any "cooperation" whatsoever. In fact, I'm one more non-answer away from getting a federal warrant and searching this entire building.

Then this meeting is over. Dr. Voss. [The lawyers all begin to get up from the table. Mulder pulls an evidence bag from his pocket]

Mulder

Dr. Voss... can you tell me what that is? [He tosses the bag to Voss. Inside is the dead beetle from Jim Scobie's glass]

It's a tobacco beetle. Why?

Mulder

We found it at Jim Scobie's house.

Well, you'll find a lot of these around here. They're everywhere. There's probably a dozen in the grill of your car right now.

May I ask where you're going with this, Agent?

Mulder

[sarcastically] I'm sorry, I can't. Answering that question would violate FBI confidentiality due to the sensitive nature of our investigation.

You're both crazy.

Mulder

Well, why do you say that?

(to Mulder) Well, you're crazy for believing what you believe. (to Scully) And you're crazy for not believing what he believes. I'll leave you with that. Thank you. (leaves)

Mulder

I miss him already.

Is being made a fool of a crime, Agent Mulder?

Mulder

I'd be doing life if it were, sir.

Scully

How...?

Mulder

[answering the question before she asks] 42.

Scully

You've seen this movie 42 times?

Mulder

Yes.

Scully

Doesn't that make you sad? It makes me sad.

Mulder

(on the phone with Skinner) Uh... So what are you up to right now, sir?

Skinner

I'm taking a bubble bath.

Mulder

Uh, hold on just one second, sir. (clicks over on the receiver to talk to Scully, grinning with delight) Hey, Scully, Skinman is calling me from a bubble bath.

Skinner

It's still me, Mulder.

Mulder

Uh, sir, well, hold on one second, sir. (He clicks the receiver again) Scully?

Scully

Yeah?

Mulder

Yeah, Skinner is calling me from a bubble bath.

Scully

Wow, he's really gone Hollywood.

Mulder

Totally.

Scully

You know, Mulder, speaking of Hollywood, I think that Tea Leoni has a little crush on you.

Mulder

Oh, yeah, right. Like Tea Leoni's ever going to have a crush on me.

Scully

I think that Shandling likes you a bit, too.

Mulder

Really?