Morris quotes from The X-Files

(voiceover) Once upon a time, there was a guy with the improbable name of Fox Mulder. He started out life happily enough, as these things go. He had parents who loved him, a cute kid sister. He had a roof over his head, got all his flu shots, had all his fingers and toes and aside from being stuck with the name "Fox" which probably taught him how to fight - or not - he pretty much led a normal life. But the worst thing by far - the biggest kick in the slacks this kid Fox ever got - was what happened to his sister. One day, she just disappeared. Now, Fox buckled down and worked his butt off. Graduated top of his class at Oxford then top of his class at the FBI academy. None of that hard work made up for his sister, though. It was just a way of putting her out of his mind. Finally, the way I figure it, he went out of his mind and he's been that way ever since. Fox Mulder pissed away a brilliant career, lost the respect of supervisors and friends and now lives his life shaking his fist at the sky and muttering about conspiracies to anyone who will listen. If you ask me, he's one step away from pushing a baby carriage filled with tin cans down the street. But now, all that's going to change.

Uh-huh. (sets the bags down and gets out some candles) A little mood lighting for the bedroom. (looks around; pauses) No bedroom.

This guy hasn't been laid in ten years.

Agents, I'm tellin' ya, you don't want these three involved. I mean, they don't even have their ridiculous tinker toy gizmos. This place is like "How The Grinch Stole Radio Shack."

(patting Jimmy Bond; sarcastically) Cheer up, Gomer - You're bringin' the whole room down.

Scully

I was told by the Assistant Director that Mulder was gone.

So?

Scully

So, whenever he's away, I feed his fish.

You don't look too happy. Don't tell me I'm going to have to put two kids through school.

Scully

(hesitantly) That is you in there, Mulder, isn't it? (Mulder nods; Scully folds her arms, hugging herself) I, uh... I just got off the phone with Frohike. They were able to download and analyze the crash data and, yes, there was an anomalous event that night.

And how do I get back?

Scully

(not easy for her to say) Well, that's just it. It's all about random moments in time... About a series of variables approaching an event horizon. And even if we... could recreate that moment if we could sabotage another craft... Mulder, if we were... If we were off... If the event were off by even one millisecond...

I might wind up with my head in a rock.

Scully

Something like that, yeah. (long pause)

(depressed) What about him? I mean, me. Whatever. Whoever he is.

Scully

Agent Mulder has become AD Kersh's new golden boy. He's been tasked with returning the flight data recorder that he and I stole. The son of a bitch confesses to Kersh even more than I do to my priest. I'm just tagging along for the ride.

What do you mean, "just tagging along?"

Scully

I'm out of the Bureau. I've been censured and relieved of my position.

No. You can explain it to them like you explained it to me. You have the data. You can make them understand. You can get your job back.

Scully

(can't help but smile; looks up at him fondly) I'd kiss you if you weren't so damn ugly. (Mulder smiles back)

(honking the horn; yelling out the window) Take a picture - it'll last longer!

(through clenched teeth) If I... shoot him, is that murder or suicide?

Scully

Neither, if I do it first. (Squeezes his arm, then walks toward the car. He stops her.)

Hey, Scully...

Frohike

Scully?

Scully

Aw, hey. Long time, no see. (a man whispers something into her ear) No, that's not nice. I like Hickey. (she rubs his head, messing up his hair. Agent Morris Fletcher [from Dreamland I/II] holds out a pack of cigarettes to her)

Cigarette? (she leans in and takes out a cigarette with her lips seductively)

Frohike

You don't smoke.

Scully

But who's got a match? (a dozen lighters are in front of her instantly) Well ... I just can't decide who lights my fire.

Frohike

That's it. (grabs cigarette from Scully's mouth) Alright, you dandies, back off. This is Special Agent Dana Scully of the FBI. If you so much as touch her, you may be committing a federal offense. (to Scully) Come on, come on. (he pulls her away)

We could have been stardust.

Scully

Maybe next time. (she slaps his ass as Frohike drags her off)

(referencing making a deal) The one that saves my furry pink ass. People are tryin' to kill me. Did you hear about my boat?

Reyes

Yeah - Your female companion told us what she witnessed.

My fem... Oh, you mean they didn't kill.. (tries to think of her name)

Reyes

Brittany? Brittney?

Brittany. Oh.. Oh, thank God she's still alive.

"Area 51 Exposé!" Ooo! (sarcastic) Where's your new issue? This one's a year old.

Frohike

Back off, Skeezick.

(looking at Langly's t-shirt) So, who's Joey?

Langly

What? (Morris motions again at Langly's shirt) Joey Ramone? Leader of the greatest punk rock band in human history - Now shut up! (notices Morris looking at him closely) ..What?!

(sigh) What are you, 34, 35? Why don't you cut your hair and grow up, huh?

Langly

I need to remind you, Fletcher, that Doggett and Reyes aren't here to save you.

Get yourself a real hero, anyway - Not some dead teeny bopper.

Langly

(slams keyboard down and stands up, angry) You want to know why Joey Ramone's my hero? 'Cause people like you never managed to grind him down. They never stole his spirit. He never gave in, never gave up, and never sold out. Right till his last breath.. And he's not dead - Guys like that? They live forever.

(sighs) So, you're too broke to publish, huh? Pencil neck told me.. It's a shame. This little rag always was such a hoot. I'm gonna miss it. But, hey, the world spins on, right? Maybe saving it is a younger man's game. Or a woman's. (motioning to Yves)

Frohike

(considers) Maybe it is.. (turns to Byers) You gotta admit, Byers. It hasn't exactly been our year. And to top it all off, we screwed the pooch pretty good today. Maybe we should pack it in.

Byers

And do what instead? We never gave up. We never will. In the end, if that's the best they can say about us... it'll do.