John Fitzgerald Byers quotes from The X-Files

Byers

That's why we like you, Mulder. Your ideas are weirder than ours.

Byers

Langly couldn't join us. He has a philosophical aversion to having his image bounced off a satellite.

Byers

My name is John Fitzgerald Byers. I was named after our 35th president, and I keep having this beautiful dream. In my dream, the events of November 22nd, 1963, never happened. In it, my namesake was never assassinated. Other things are different, too, in my dream. My country is hopeful and innocent; young again. Young in spirit. My fellow citizens trust their elect officials, never once having been betrayed by them. My government is truly "of the people, by the people, for the people." All my hopes for my country, for myself... all are fulfilled. I have everything a person could want: home and family... and love. Everything that counts for anything in life... I have it. But the dream ends the same way every time. I lose it all.

Byers

Lone Gunman Newspaper Group. Byers speaking.

Byers

In our April edition of "The Lone Gunman," we ran an article on the C.I.A.'s new CCDTH-2138 fiber-optic-lens micro-video camera.

Langly

Small enough to be placed on the back of a fly.

Mulder

Imagine being one of those flies on the wall of the Oval Office.

Frohike

Been there, done that.

Frohike

I don't think we've been followed.

Mulder

Who would follow you?

Byers

Multinational black ops unit. Code name Garnett.

Langly

Trained killers. School of the American Alumni.

Mulder

Have you boys been defacing library books again?

Byers

Are you familiar with a post-World War II project known as Operation Paper Clip?

Mulder

Our deal with the devil. The U.S. government provided safe haven for certain Nazi war criminals in exchange for their scientific knowledge.

Langly

[Points at the picture.] I know who this man is. Victor Klemper.

Byers

The man standing next to your father is one of those criminals, though not the most famous of the bunch. Wernher von Braun, designer of the V-2 rockets that leveled London, may be the most notorious, but Victor Klemper certainly takes the prize for the most... evil Nazi to escape the Nuremburg trials.

Scully

What did he do?

Langly

He experimented on the Jews... drowned them, suffocated them, put them in pressure chambers. All in the name of science.

Byers

Together with Von Braun, Klemper helped us win the space race. Using his scientific data on the effects of high-altitude flying, we were able to put astronauts on the moon before the Soviets.

Langly

One giant step for mankind.

Byers

It's all true what Susanne said about you people isn't it?! About John F. Kennedy.. Dallas?

(turns to Byers) ...I heard it was a lone gunman.

Scully

What are you guys doing here?

Frohike

Mulder's in trouble.

Langly

Big trouble.

Scully

What do you mean?

Byers

Let's take a walk.

Scully

Okay, where are we going?

Frohike

The walls have ears.

Scully

(impatient) I have ears. Will you tell me what's going on?

Byers

And that man that you're with...

My fiance? I'm sorry, John, I think you better go.

Byers

No, wait. Wait. Ten years ago, I saw you thrown into a car. Kidnapped right in front of me. Did that not happen? Did I just dream all of that?

It happened. But things got better.

Scully

(laughing) Hi.

Frohike

Settle down, settle down. (sits her on the bed)

Scully

(laughing and grinning) Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Frohike

I found Agent Scully-go-lightly holding court... (Scully grabs Frohike's ass) ...bar!

Byers

I've never seen her drunk before ...

(checks Scully's eyes) God, this can't be.

Scully

(she pretends to tickle her) Hi...

Byers

We learned what we could. This is somewhat short notice, of course.

Frohike

And a little outside our area of expertise.

Langly

Plus the fact we were sleeping.

Doggett

You wearing pants, Langly?

Langly

Uh...yeah. (hurriedly gets out of the range of the camera)

Frohike

You know, it's really not fair. You've been dead for six months and you still look better than me. But not by much. (they hug tightly, Mulder laughs softly)

Mulder

Melvin. I'd be a whole lot happier to see you if you'd just take your hands off my ass.

Frohike

(embarrassed, lets go and steps back) Sorry.

Byers

I think it goes without saying that we're all, uh, tremendously relieved.

Langly

(smiling) And not just because we got big questions about your involvement in a certain... blessed event.

Mulder

(on radio) Frohike? Langly? Byers? Let's go. I'm dying out here.

Frohike

(on radio) Well, let us just finish our cappuccino and biscotti, and we'll see what we can do.

Byers

(on radio) You can start walking now, Mulder.

Mulder

Is the system bypassed?

Langly

You'll know if it's not.

Mulder

Great.

Frohike

(sarcastically) Collecting for the needy and unemployed. Open the door.

Doggett

(opening the door) Thanks for doing this, guys.

Byers

Yeah, like we got anything better to be doing these days. [referring to the cancellation of their own series]