Richard Langly quotes from The X-Files

Langly

Last week, I got into the Maryland DMV to change my endorsements so I could handicap park.

Langly

L.S.D.M. Obviously, you haven't read our August edition of "T.L.G."

Mulder

Oh, sorry boys. It arrived the same day as my subscription to "Celebrity Skin."

Byers

In our April edition of "The Lone Gunman," we ran an article on the C.I.A.'s new CCDTH-2138 fiber-optic-lens micro-video camera.

Langly

Small enough to be placed on the back of a fly.

Mulder

Imagine being one of those flies on the wall of the Oval Office.

Frohike

Been there, done that.

Frohike

I don't think we've been followed.

Mulder

Who would follow you?

Byers

Multinational black ops unit. Code name Garnett.

Langly

Trained killers. School of the American Alumni.

Mulder

Have you boys been defacing library books again?

Byers

Are you familiar with a post-World War II project known as Operation Paper Clip?

Mulder

Our deal with the devil. The U.S. government provided safe haven for certain Nazi war criminals in exchange for their scientific knowledge.

Langly

[Points at the picture.] I know who this man is. Victor Klemper.

Byers

The man standing next to your father is one of those criminals, though not the most famous of the bunch. Wernher von Braun, designer of the V-2 rockets that leveled London, may be the most notorious, but Victor Klemper certainly takes the prize for the most... evil Nazi to escape the Nuremburg trials.

Scully

What did he do?

Langly

He experimented on the Jews... drowned them, suffocated them, put them in pressure chambers. All in the name of science.

Byers

Together with Von Braun, Klemper helped us win the space race. Using his scientific data on the effects of high-altitude flying, we were able to put astronauts on the moon before the Soviets.

Langly

One giant step for mankind.

Frohike

Me and the narc have a proposition for you.

Langly

What proposition?

Frohike

The coolest hack in the world.

Langly

(smiles) Say it. (Frohike hesitates) Say it...

Frohike

(grudgingly) ...Your kung fu is the best.

Scully

What are you guys doing here?

Frohike

Mulder's in trouble.

Langly

Big trouble.

Scully

What do you mean?

Byers

Let's take a walk.

Scully

Okay, where are we going?

Frohike

The walls have ears.

Scully

(impatient) I have ears. Will you tell me what's going on?

Scully

Mulder? Mulder, it's me. Hmm?

Mulder

(waking) Where am I? (tries to sit up)

Scully

You're in a hospital.

Mulder

Ooooo.

Scully

Lie still.

Mulder

I feel... Like hell.

Scully

I don't blame you. You've been through the wringer, I'd say.

Mulder

What happened to me?

Scully

You did something incredibly stupid.

Mulder

What did I do?

Scully

You went looking for a ship, Mulder. In the Bermuda Triangle.

Mulder

Say that again?

Frohike

Gilligan awakes.

Mulder

You were there.

Scully

Hmm?

Mulder

You were there, Scully.

Langly

(to the others) He's delirious.

Mulder

(referring to Skinner) And he was there, too.

Skinner

(dropping a bouquet of flowers on the nightstand) Right - Me and my dog Toto.

Mulder

No, you were there with the Nazis.

Scully

Mulder, will you settle down? It's an order.

Skinner

Not that he takes orders...

Mulder

You saved the world, Scully.

Scully

Yeah... You're right. I did.

Frohike

What kind of drugs is he on?

Langly

I want some.

Mulder

No, no, no... The Queen Anne- I found it. You were there with Thor's Hammer. I told you you had to turn the ship around and then I jumped overboard.

Scully

Yeah, I bet you did. The boat that you were on was busted into a million pieces. And as for the Queen Anne... it was nothing more than a ghost ship.

Mulder

No, no, no. You and I were on that ship, Scully. In 1939.

Skinner

Get some rest, Mulder, 'cause when you get out of here I'm going to kick your butt but good.

Mulder

I would've never seen you again. But you believed me.

Scully

In your dreams. (as if talking to a child) Mulder, I want you to close your eyes and I want you to think to yourself "there's no place like home."

Mulder

Mmm. (chuckles) [Scully starts to leave; he calls her back.] Hey, Scully. (leans up on his elbow)

Scully

[Comes back and leans close to his face.] Yes?

Mulder

I love you.

Scully

Oh, brother... (turns away and leaves the room)

Langly

What if 'they' did something to him? You know, to make him pancake himself?

Scully

Who's "they?"

Langly

You know... "them."

Scully

(rolling her eyes) I'll begin with the Y-incision.

Scully

What happened?

Langly

I'm thinking that you got a little queasy and took a header. You know, blood and guts can bother some people. (gags)

Scully

(seems intoxicated) Yeah. I guess.

Langly

You gonna be alright?

Scully

Sure, cutie.

Langly

So, you're done with Jimmy?

Scully

Done. Done. Done. (tries to push examining table with no success) How do you roll this thing?

Langly

Uh, Scully?

Langly

What killed him?

Scully

In my medical opinion -- BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!! *claps*

Langly

And that's all you found?

Scully

That's all I know.

Langly

Scully?

Frohike

Hey Timmy. I'm sorry about Jimmy.

Hey Langly, the guys are all up in my room for a round of Dungeons and Dragons, in honor of Jimmy.

Langly

(hand on heart for a moment) Lord Manhammer will be in attendance. (to Frohike) I'm going to go play a little D&D, uh, in memoriam.

Frohike

That's touching, man.

Frohike

So you want to hit the slots?

Langly

You know, Byers, growing old with us ain't so bad.

Frohike

Oh, shut up, Langly. You really want him to kill himself?

Frohike

We all have a third eye. If we could open it, we'd see a new reality, one closer to God. At least that's what Kesey told me on the bus back in '64.

Langly

You were not on the bus with Kesey in '64.

Frohike

Hey, I got the pictures to prove it, my longhaired friend.

Langly

Before or after you partied with the Stones at Altamont?

Frohike

Don't be a boob, Altamont was in '70s.

Langly

Whatever.

Byers

We learned what we could. This is somewhat short notice, of course.

Frohike

And a little outside our area of expertise.

Langly

Plus the fact we were sleeping.

Doggett

You wearing pants, Langly?

Langly

Uh...yeah. (hurriedly gets out of the range of the camera)

Frohike

You know, it's really not fair. You've been dead for six months and you still look better than me. But not by much. (they hug tightly, Mulder laughs softly)

Mulder

Melvin. I'd be a whole lot happier to see you if you'd just take your hands off my ass.

Frohike

(embarrassed, lets go and steps back) Sorry.

Byers

I think it goes without saying that we're all, uh, tremendously relieved.

Langly

(smiling) And not just because we got big questions about your involvement in a certain... blessed event.