Sheriff Lucius Hartwell quotes from The X-Files

Sheriff Hartwell

Yeah. Okay. Uh.. what she said, that's what I'm thinkin', and, uh... Yeah.

Sheriff Lucius Hartwell

He's just not who we are anymore. I mean we pay taxes, we're good neighbors. Old Ronnie.. he just can't seem to grasp the concept of.. low profile. But, though he may be a moron, he is one of our own.

Scully

It was there that we were met by a representative of local law enforcement, Sheriff-

Sheriff Lucius Hartwell

Lucius Hartwell. You the FBI agents?

Scully

Yes, I'm-

Mulder

Agents Mulder and, uh.. (snaps fingers, trying to remember) Scully. What do you say we go take a look at your victim?

Sheriff Lucius Hartwell

Yeah, by all means. After you.

Mulder

Come on, Scully, get those little legs movin'! Come on!

Mulder

[pulling on dead man's collar to reveal two apparent bite marks] Your Satanic cultists have some sharp little teeth.

Sheriff Lucius Hartwell

What satanic cultists?

Mulder

Go ahead, tell him your, heh, (makes quotation marks in the air, mockingly) "theory."

Sheriff Lucius Hartwell

You really know your stuff, Dana.

Mulder

(disbelief) "Dana"?! [Cuts back to Mulder's office; he laughs] He never even knew your first name!

Scully

(slightly embarrassed) You gonna interrupt me, or what?

Mulder

No, go ahead. (grinning) ..Dana.

Mulder

[Investigating the body] Have you noticed that this man's shoes are untied?

Scully

Mulder, what's your point?

Mulder

This means something.. Sheriff, do you have an old cemetery in town, off the beaten path, the creepier the better?

Sheriff Lucius Hartwell

Uh, yeah.

Mulder

(snaps his fingers at him) Take me there now! Scully, we're gonna need a complete autopsy on this man, the sooner the better.

Scully

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! What am I even looking for?

Mulder

(puts his hands on her shoulders; looks at her intently) I don't know. (walks off)

Scully

(looks at the sheriff, who seems confused; tries to explain) He does that.

Scully

(looking at Hartwell) Ooh, boy.

Sheriff Lucius Hartwell

Y'all must be the guv-mint people. (Mulder has a slightly repulsed face, while Scully is obviously enamored with Hartwell) ..I'm Lucius Hartwell.

Scully

(objecting) He had big buck teeth?

Mulder

..He had a slight overbite.

Scully

No, he didn't. (Mulder nods his head) ..And that's significant? How?

Mulder

I'm just trying to be thorough.

Mulder

Historically, cemeteries were thought to be a haven for vampires - as are castles, catacombs and swamps, but unfortunately, you don't have any of those.

Sheriff Hartwell

We used to have swamps, only the EPA made us take to callin' 'em "wetlands".