Melvin Frohike quotes from The X-Files

Frohike

Tell Scully I've been working out. I'm buff.

Frohike

(Talking about the Smoking Man, as he listens over the wiretap.) Henry David Thoreau wrote: "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation." His life has been anything but quiet - yet I believe, nothing but desperate. He's the most dangerous man alive - not so much because he believes in his actions, but because he believes those actions are all which life allows him... and yet, the only person that can never escape him, is himself.

Frohike

(to Langly) With that long blonde hair, you'll be the first one in here who gets traded for cigarettes, and I'm gonna be laughing my ass off.

Frohike

I don't understand. Why would the government want to turn Scully into a bimbo?

Frohike

So Mulder, where's your little partner?

Mulder

She couldn't come. She was afraid of her love for you.

Byers

In our April edition of "The Lone Gunman," we ran an article on the C.I.A.'s new CCDTH-2138 fiber-optic-lens micro-video camera.

Langly

Small enough to be placed on the back of a fly.

Mulder

Imagine being one of those flies on the wall of the Oval Office.

Frohike

Been there, done that.

Frohike

Beam me up, Scotty!

Mulder

Anybody ever tell you the camera loves you, Frohike?

Frohike

Yeah, the arresting officers at the "Free James Brown" rally.

Frohike

I don't think we've been followed.

Mulder

Who would follow you?

Byers

Multinational black ops unit. Code name Garnett.

Langly

Trained killers. School of the American Alumni.

Mulder

Have you boys been defacing library books again?

Frohike

He was a good friend. A redwood among mere sprouts. I guess this means he's passing you the torch?

Scully

Uh, I'm afraid not. I'm soon to be out of a job.

Frohike

Those sons of bitches! They're rigging the game.

Scully

And like rats they just scatter back into the wood pile.

Frohike

The rats that killed the cat.

Frohike

Me and the narc have a proposition for you.

Langly

What proposition?

Frohike

The coolest hack in the world.

Langly

(smiles) Say it. (Frohike hesitates) Say it...

Frohike

(grudgingly) ...Your kung fu is the best.

Scully

What are you guys doing here?

Frohike

Mulder's in trouble.

Langly

Big trouble.

Scully

What do you mean?

Byers

Let's take a walk.

Scully

Okay, where are we going?

Frohike

The walls have ears.

Scully

(impatient) I have ears. Will you tell me what's going on?

Scully

Mulder? Mulder, it's me. Hmm?

Mulder

(waking) Where am I? (tries to sit up)

Scully

You're in a hospital.

Mulder

Ooooo.

Scully

Lie still.

Mulder

I feel... Like hell.

Scully

I don't blame you. You've been through the wringer, I'd say.

Mulder

What happened to me?

Scully

You did something incredibly stupid.

Mulder

What did I do?

Scully

You went looking for a ship, Mulder. In the Bermuda Triangle.

Mulder

Say that again?

Frohike

Gilligan awakes.

Mulder

You were there.

Scully

Hmm?

Mulder

You were there, Scully.

Langly

(to the others) He's delirious.

Mulder

(referring to Skinner) And he was there, too.

Skinner

(dropping a bouquet of flowers on the nightstand) Right - Me and my dog Toto.

Mulder

No, you were there with the Nazis.

Scully

Mulder, will you settle down? It's an order.

Skinner

Not that he takes orders...

Mulder

You saved the world, Scully.

Scully

Yeah... You're right. I did.

Frohike

What kind of drugs is he on?

Langly

I want some.

Mulder

No, no, no... The Queen Anne- I found it. You were there with Thor's Hammer. I told you you had to turn the ship around and then I jumped overboard.

Scully

Yeah, I bet you did. The boat that you were on was busted into a million pieces. And as for the Queen Anne... it was nothing more than a ghost ship.

Mulder

No, no, no. You and I were on that ship, Scully. In 1939.

Skinner

Get some rest, Mulder, 'cause when you get out of here I'm going to kick your butt but good.

Mulder

I would've never seen you again. But you believed me.

Scully

In your dreams. (as if talking to a child) Mulder, I want you to close your eyes and I want you to think to yourself "there's no place like home."

Mulder

Mmm. (chuckles) [Scully starts to leave; he calls her back.] Hey, Scully. (leans up on his elbow)

Scully

[Comes back and leans close to his face.] Yes?

Mulder

I love you.

Scully

Oh, brother... (turns away and leaves the room)

Frohike

Hey Timmy. I'm sorry about Jimmy.

Hey Langly, the guys are all up in my room for a round of Dungeons and Dragons, in honor of Jimmy.

Langly

(hand on heart for a moment) Lord Manhammer will be in attendance. (to Frohike) I'm going to go play a little D&D, uh, in memoriam.

Frohike

That's touching, man.

Frohike

Scully?

Scully

Aw, hey. Long time, no see. (a man whispers something into her ear) No, that's not nice. I like Hickey. (she rubs his head, messing up his hair. Agent Morris Fletcher [from Dreamland I/II] holds out a pack of cigarettes to her)

Cigarette? (she leans in and takes out a cigarette with her lips seductively)

Frohike

You don't smoke.

Scully

But who's got a match? (a dozen lighters are in front of her instantly) Well ... I just can't decide who lights my fire.

Frohike

That's it. (grabs cigarette from Scully's mouth) Alright, you dandies, back off. This is Special Agent Dana Scully of the FBI. If you so much as touch her, you may be committing a federal offense. (to Scully) Come on, come on. (he pulls her away)

We could have been stardust.

Scully

Maybe next time. (she slaps his ass as Frohike drags her off)

Scully

(laughing) Hi.

Frohike

Settle down, settle down. (sits her on the bed)

Scully

(laughing and grinning) Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Frohike

I found Agent Scully-go-lightly holding court... (Scully grabs Frohike's ass) ...bar!

Byers

I've never seen her drunk before ...

(checks Scully's eyes) God, this can't be.

Scully

(she pretends to tickle her) Hi...