Leo McGarry quotes from The West Wing

Josh

Lang? Isn't she a lefty?

Leo

Yes. We want the left flank sufficiently mollified and the right flank sufficiently panicked so as to inspire a little conciliation on all flanks.

Josh

Sir, have you read the talking points?

Bartlet

I'm an economist. Some would say half-decent. I don't need a primer on this.

Charlie

Due respect,sir, your answers on economics can be a bit---

Bartlet

Polysyllabic?

CJ

Academic.

Leo

I was going to go with incomprehensible.

Josh Lyman

We made a promise.

Bartlet

There was a man named Canute, one of the great Viking kings of the 11th Century. Wanted his people to be aware of his limitations, so he led them down to the sea and he commanded that the tide roll out. It didn't. Who gave us the notion that Presidents can move the economy like a play-toy? That we can do more than talk it up or smooth over the rough spots? It's a lie. What we really owe that union is the truth.

Josh

We run around saying free trade creates high-paying jobs.

Bartlet

And it will. But I've been trying to tell you it's not that simple.

Leo

I'll set up a call with Bill Parsons.

Bartlet

It'd be nice to roll back that tide, wouldn't it?

Josh

Yes, Mr. President, it sure would.

Leo

Believe me, I love the idea of you ministering to the wayward and unwashed. I don't love you becoming a de facto spokesperson for a load of issues we can't support.

Abbey

I'm not on a lecture tour, I'm seeing patients.

Leo

'Hello. My name is Clarissa Ponsissa. I'm 14 and sexually active. But I know it's okay, 'cause I got my condoms from the First Lady.' Fox News is throwing a party.

I'm still laughing.

Bartlet

Real reason I went for a second term: couple more years between this gig, the Gridiron, and the Alfalfa Club, I'll be ready for the Def Comedy circuit.

I'd hold out for Vegas, sir.

Bartlet

My first Correspondent's Dinner was a nightmare. Bombed.

Leo

Put that behind you tonight.

Bartlet

I killed.

Bartlet

They laughed till they cried. They're still crying.

Honestly, sir, in my case, it's the pollen count. But for an Anglo-Saxon, you were darn funny.

Kate

Leo. You wanted to see me?

Leo

Yeah, listen. With Nancy McNally out of the country, you're going to have to be our go-to... I was gonna say "guy". The problem with English: "guy" is wrong, "gal" is patronizing, and "person" sounds arch.

Kate

"Go-to-guy" is fine.

Leo

Good, 'cause you're it. Which is a lot to throw at you weeks into the job. I want you to know you have my and the President's full support.

Kate

I appreciate your confidence.

Leo

We'll need you to coordinate all the intelligence agencies, including the FBI and CIA. You may have heard: they don't play nicely together.

Kate

Well, boys will be boys.

Leo

And don't be afraid to knock heads together. We don't want petty turf wars slowing down the intel.

Harper

I'll keep on 'em.

Leo

You run into resistance, you let me know.

Kate

I hope that won't be necessary.

Leo

Another thing: the President's not crazy about the DCI. It's chemical; just rubs him the wrong way.

Kate

Okay.

Leo

This isn't gossip; it's guidance. If the CIA's got something, the Director's not always the most effective vessel for communicating it.

Kate

I'll make sure to underline anything I think is significant.

Leo

We just need you to be all over this. State, Defense. You're the White House point... person.

Kate

I won't let you down. Oh, and on that whole language score: I was in the military. I "manned" battleships, was "one of the boys," occasionally was exhorted to "drop my ...," you know, and "grab my socks." I've made my peace with the colloquial.

Leo

Okay.

Kate

Just between us girls. Thanks, Leo.

Kate

One reason some people say nothing can happen till these guys are gone is the feeling they both may be stuck in old attitudes or assumptions. There was a time when Palestinians and all Arabs wanted to drive Jews into the sea, but some would argue that time's past.

Will

Listen to some Arab broadcasts.

C.J.

Rabble-rousing to distract their street.

Kate

I'm not sure any credible Arab leader truly expects Israel's demise anymore, not even the Chairman.

Leo

Don't be so sure.

Kate

Well, there's a view that...

Will

Don't keep saying "Some argue" and "There's a view." Can we restrict it to your view?

Kate

Okay. Palestinians are no longer fighting to destroy the Jewish state. They're fighting for a state of their own, a revolutionary struggle against an occupying force, and revolutionaries will outlast and out-die occupiers every time.

Will

I don't know if that's more simplistic or naive.

Toby

It's tribal. It can't be solved. It's Hatfield and McCoy and there is no end.

Leo

The country wants action. Bringing Farat back to the table--

Bartlet

I'm not saying it's Camembert and wine, I'm saying it's what we got! Tell Hutchison to find a way to get Nassan without taking out a city block, I'll launch the damn missile myself!

Leo

Just skip to the part that's going to piss me off

Toby

That's going to be all of it.

Bartlet

They want peace but I have to blow something up first?

Leo

I think they are willing to haggle on the peace part.

Bartlet

That usually work in the past?

Leo

Sir, the Lincoln Battle Group will be in position sometime tonight; they're awaiting your order to strike Nassan and the Syrian camps in the morning.

Bartlet

What?

Leo

We can't wait for Farrad. The risk of losing Khaleel Nassan is too great. We have intel linking Iran to the martyrs, it's sketchy in spots, but overall it's a compelling case. I'm recommending you include Iran in the attack.

Bartlet

General Alexander went ahead with plans for these bombings?

Leo

At your request.

Bartlet

I said I'd consider it when the time was appropriate! I did not ask–

Leo

He was trying to anticipate your eventual need, sir. At my urging...Mr. President, please, Congress, the Joint Chiefs, the American public, your own staff, everyone disagrees with your assessment of the situation.

Bartlet

Killing Palestinians isn't going to make us feel safer. They'll kill more of us, then we'll have to kill more of them. It's Russian Roulette with a fully-loaded gun!

Leo

We can't allow terrorists to murder our citizens–

Bartlet

Why would they do it? Why would Palestinians murder American government officials? They never have before. They're deliberately provoking us, Leo. They know that we have to retaliate. They've studied us; they want us to overreact–

Leo

This isn't overreacting. It's the appropriate, balanced–

Bartlet

Tell me how this ends, Leo! You want me to start something that may have serious repercussions on American foreign policy for decades, but you don't know how it ends!

Leo

We don't always know how it ends!

Leo

...The Lincoln will be in position in a few hours, and then you are going to have to give the go-ahead for the bombings.

Bartlet

...Or what?

Leo

I can't support this decision. For a short period, we may be welcome. But what happens when we have to start kicking in doors? Declare martial law? Enforce curfews --

Bartlet

Once they establish a rule of law, and their economy settles down, they'll be quiet --

Leo

This isn't a romp in the desert! You're committing American lives to something that may go on for decades!

Bartlet

[angrily, nearly shouting] How are we not involved now-- [suddenly goes quiet, looking back at the house, then, quieter, shaking his head] We can't keep having this argument.

Leo

No, sir, we can't. If my counsel is no longer of use to you, perhaps–

Bartlet

So, if I disagree with your advice, you have to threaten me?

Leo

This is your own League of Nations, and it will ruin you like it ruined Wilson.

Bartlet

Okay. I'll need your successor in place before you leave.

Leo

Mr. President.

Bartlet

A morphine drip, and we can skip the formalities. I might get one myself... wheel it into meetings with the joint chiefs. You're not fired, Leo. You can delegate, work part-time. Bring the morphine with you for all I care.

Leo

You... You remember... what you told me... when you offered me the job?

Bartlet

"I need you to jump off a cliff."

Leo

And I did. And I'd do it again. But you need a new... chief of staff.

Bartlet

We came here to put the job first. Spend our lives for something that would outlast us. I just thought we'd have a longer line of credit is all. I'm gonna need that list of names.

Leo

Only one name.

Leo

One difference between the Mahatma and myself. I warn you there are others. You may browbeat me into using the breath spirometer. You may mother me about wound care. You may dole out the vicodin like my AA sponsor. You may even entertain me with nutrition lectures.

You need to eat.

Leo

You may not --- may not --- offer fashion advice.

Margaret

There's someone here from NASA. He needs to speak to whoever's in charge, and at this point I have no idea who that is.

Leo

Maybe, keep the philosophical questions to yourself?