The Suite Life of Zack & Cody · Season 1
(After Nia kicks Vance, London is trying to decide on a color for her lounge)
What do you think? Blue or yellow?
Nia [to Vance]: I'm sorry, let me give you a hand! (shoves Vance into a set of lockers and his face drops into the pan of blue paint)
(picks up Vance's head for a closer look) Oh! Definitely blue! (drops his head back into the pan)
This is terrible. Uncle Marion's gonna send me back to live with my mom.
Can I come with you? Because after this, I won't be able to live with mine.
(London and a bunch of girls walk by)
London, let me go to your science class for you?
Thanks, but you don't look like me. Lenny Woo is going
But he's a guy.
I paid him extra to wear a dress. (Lenny stumbles around wearing a girl's outfit with high heels)
I can't believe the princess is having a perfect first day. This stinks!
That could be the garbage in my underpants.
Cody? You got sent to the principal's office?
Not sent, invited! She likes to meet all of her honor students.
It's the first day at school!
I did some work over the summer.
I hate you.
I know.
(When Cody and London have been sent to the principal's office)
The only bright side of my day is that Nia's miserable, too.
(Nia comes down the hall with the same group of girls London paid to be her friends)
We just think you're great, Nia. It's about time someone stood up to Vance. And I just know we're gonna be the best of friends.
Aw, thanks, Ellen! (she gives London a look, as if to say "Mm-hmm")
(gasps) I just realized if you buy your friends, they're not going to really like you for who you are.
(mocking fascination) REALLY?!? Congratulations, London. You learned something on your first day of school.
Yay, smart me! (claps her hands)
Hey, Nia.
Don't make me paint you again!
Look, I don't wanna be a jerk anymore.
(indifferently) What do you want to be?
Your boyfriend. (looks shocked at what he said; Nia looks up) The way you stood up to me was awesome. And I think you're really cute.
(Nia giggles sheepishly)
London, there isn't enough money in the world to make me do your project for you.
Maybe not in your world; but in my world, I have enough money to buy your world.
Well, why don't you conduct an experiment that conducts the principles of gene splicing?
Ooh, I can do that. I mean, I usually buy my jeans with holes already in them, but I can slice them myself.
Argh. This is like talking to a potato... We'll make a potato clock.
Why would a potato need to tell time? Ooh, I got it: so it knows when it's done!
[to Carey] Hey, Mom! I need your help. I got gum in my ear.
And nothing in your head.
Cody, will you help me with my science project? The guy I used to use is all stuck up now that he won the Nobel Prize.
A Nobel Prize winner tutored you?
No, he just did the research and the writing.
Sorry, London, I can't help you. I have a book report due on Moby Dick.
I'll pay you.
The whale can wait!
[to Cody] You like listening to all that classical junk, right?
If by "junk" you mean the music of Beethoven, Mozart and Bach, then yes.
Look, if you help me, I can get my hands on Uncle Marion's symphony tickets to hear Yo-Yo Mama.
You mean, Yo-Yo Ma?!
Whatever.
I'm your nerd!
Cody?
London?
This is too hard!
It's two wires, a potato and a clock. How much easier could it be?
A lot... if you do it.
London, I'm not going to do it. I have my own book report that I have to finish.
If you finish this project for me, I'll write your book report for you. (London & Cody look at each other and then laugh) Seriously, finish the clock!
(London and Nia smile while wearing matching outfits with advertising music in the background)
(like an advertiser) Everyone loves homemade French fries, but who has the time?
(same tone of voice) I don't. I usually have to pay those crazy drive-thru prices!
Well, not anymore!
(The girls unveil the Lightning Fry, which is their combined science projects that Cody helped them with)
With the Lightning Fry Maker, you can have delicious fries in seconds!
(London places a lid on the tray of potatoes and activates the Lightning Fry; an explosion is heard, and London removes the lid, revealing a stack of French fries; Nia samples one)
Mmm! Now that's a good fry!
If you call right now, we'll include a 50-pound bag of potatoes absolutely free!
(London heaves a bag of potatoes, but falls backward because of the weight of the potatoes; Nia doesn't react)
(quietly and quickly) $40 shipping and handling not included.
(London stands up)
Hurry! They're selling like hot cakes!
Don't you mean hot potatoes?
(London and Nia laugh and slap five)
Seriously, call. You won't regret it!
(quietly and quickly) Lightning Fry is not responsible for any injuries, accidents, or mutations that may occur while using this product.
(The girls smile and flash a thumbs up)
Daaaaaa----Daaaaaaa
Aww. He said his first word.
Actually his first word was "Aaaargh!". But still Awwwwwww.
(exhausted) Ahhh!
I know I know I gained a few pounds but I go jogging everyday.
Ahhh?
Would you believe three times a week?
Ah?
Okay, I went yesterday.
Ahhhhh!
Hey, Arwin! Break out your chainsaw. I need help carving my Zack-o-lantern.
At least when you stick a candle in his head, he'll be bright.
(laughs) Hey, wait a minute!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Suite Life of Zack & Cody pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
