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S14

The Simpsons · Season 14

“Bart of War” quotes from The Simpsons

6 quotes

“Bart of War” · Season 14

In this episode: Homer Simpson (2), Ralph Wiggum (2), Bart Simpson (1), Marge Simpson (1), Lisa Simpson (1), Mr. Burns (1), Milhouse Van Houten (1)

TATV Announcer

Next on Comedy Central, an all new South Park!

I hear those kids' voices are done by grown ups.

Hey, there’s nothing wrong with that. I just wonder how they keep it so fresh after 43 episodes?

[In the South Park episode, the kids are at a rock concert]

SStan

I can't believe we paid to see a band with Steve Guttenberg, Calista Flockhart, and Farty The Crippled Robot!

FFarty

[a robot with a guitar sitting in a wheelchair] Look who's in my fart: O. J.!

[Farty produces a fart cloud that disappears, leaving O. J. Simpson in its place]

OJO. J.

[holds up a knife] I'm gonna kill you all!

[O. J. decapitates Farty, who inexplicably bleeds red blood, before doing the same to drummer Guttenberg and bassist Flockhart, the latter appearing like a stick figure]

BMBart and Milhouse

[dancing a dosey-doe] Cartoon violence! Cartoon violence!

[O. J. appears on screen with Cartman's head on his knife]

OJO. J.

Now I'm gonna find the real killers!

[Marge turns off the TV as Bart and Milhouse scream]

Kids, that cartoon's not life-affirming. We're going to watch a show about the everyday problems of angels.

[Marge turns the TV back on to PAX TV]

TATV Announcer

Now, back to Good Heavens.

[An old couple living in the clouds with their dog appears on screen]

OWOld Woman

Jesus called today.

OMOld Man

He did?!

[Bart and Milhouse scream and run away]

Wait a minute. How could those stupid jarheads win?

Who would want candy filled with laxatives?

[Cut to seniors in the day room enjoying the laxative-laced candies.]

[seeing the Indian smoke signals] Oh no, the Pawnee have returned. They probably want their souls back.

[looking at the Jumbo-Tron] Oh my, God! That's my wife, and she's crying!

These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.