Hello. I'm Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is no. Now our story begins on a Friday morning in a little town called Springfield...
“The Springfield Files” · Season 8
In this episode: Homer Simpson (4), Leonard Nimoy (2), Bart Simpson (1), Marge Simpson (1), Moe Szyslak (1), Squeaky-Voiced Teen (1)
MMoe
So uh, who are you guys anyhow?
MMulder
Agents Mulder and Scully, FBI.
MMoe
FBI, huh? Excuse me. [Goes to the back room, where two boys are hosing down a whale] All right, they're on to us. Get him back to Sea World.
[Homer encounters a glowing alien in a clearing]
[whimpers in fear] Please! Don't hurt me!
AAlien
Don't be afraid.
[Homer runs away screaming, creating "Yahhh!" in the grass as he goes]
SScully
Now we're gonna run a few tests. This is a simple lie detector. I'll ask you a few yes or no questions and you just answer truthfully. Do you understand?
Yes.
[Lie detector explodes]
MMulder
[after subjecting Homer to a physical and numerous medical tests, Scully has set him on a treadmill] Wait a minute, Scully. What's the point of this test?
SScully
No point. I just figured he could stand to lose some weight.
MMulder
[seeing the movement of Homer's belly] His jiggling is almost hypnotic.
SScully
Yes. It's like a lava lamp.
Please, just let it be?
No, I can't. This is my cause. I'm like the man who singlehandedly built the rocket and went to the moon. What was his name? Apollo Creed?
This Friday, we're going back to the woods and we're going to find that alien!
What if we don't?
We'll fake it, and sell it to the Fox network.
[chuckles] They'll buy anything.
Now son, they do a lot of quality programming, too.
[After a short pause, they both burst into laughter.]
I kill me!
And so, from this simple man came the proof that we are not alone in the universe, I'm Leonard Nimoy. Good night.
[off camera] Uh, Mr. Nimoy? We have ten minutes left.
Oh. Uh, fine. Let me, uh, just get something out of my car.
[He runs out of the room, starts his car and drives off]
I don't think he's coming back.
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