Shane Vendrell quotes from The Shield

Shane

You got me on salami patrol? Why not one of these guys?

Trish

Not gay enough.

Vic

The dead guy watched me shove a bong down his buddy's windpipe.

Shane

Twenty bucks says his buddy's one of the shooters.

Come on, a Captain in the middle of the night, and he runs into them? That's a pretty big coincidence.

Vic

Unless it's not a coincidence. (Body gets carried out) What if these are the guys Diagur sent to get the money out of the freezer?

What, the ones you told him to send over?

Shane

Well if it's true, then these are the assholes who kicked the shit out of Aceveda. Took his gun. Which means he was tracking them here when this thing went down.

And he might track them right back to us and that marked cash.

Vic

Let's not get premenstrual until we talk to Diagur.

Dude, what was that back in the clubhouse?

Shane

Just because we're on this team, doesn't mean we can't become a problem. If there's one thing Vic's good at, it's solving problems.

Dude, Vic's never gonna kick you off the Team.

Shane

Hey, if Vic ever thought that me and Mara were becoming a problem, you'd let me know wouldn't you?

Vic

Married huh?

Shane

Yeah, yeah, I can hardly believe it myself.

Vic

Well, I'm sorry I missed that. [pause] Look, you sure you know what you're doing?

Shane

I know what I want.

Vic

Just.... just don't make the same mistakes I made. And you'll be fine.

Shane

Show and tell, kids!

Vic

Show us what you're doing, and we'll tell you why it's a crime!

Vic

What are you doing!?!

Keeping us safe!

Shane

Put the goddamn money down Lem!

Vic

This won't help us.

Look, if there's no money to find, Aceveda and the Feds can't touch us!

Shane

Lem, back off. [draws his gun] Back goddamn off right now! [Everyone holds still] Back off man, I mean it.

Ronnie

Shane...

Shane...put down the gun.

Vic

SHANE!

Shane

Please man, don't do this man. Please.

Vic

It's gonna be alright. I promise.

Ronnie

Come on man, I mean COME ON MAN!

You guys, you guys are the only family I got, alright? I'm not gonna let any of us go to prison.

Vic

That's a decision for the four of us to make, not just you.

I've always gone along with everything you ever wanted, and all it's done is get us deeper and deeper into shit.

Vic

STOP IT!

Just let me finish this please.

Shane

Hey, thanks for coming. Look, ah...I'm in some serious shit. [Vic points his gun at him] Hey, hey, what the hell you doing? What the hell's the matter with you?!

Vic

Bugged your car. It's you or me...right? I guess it's you.

Shane

No, no, no no, I, I'm I'm explaining, Vic, pl-please, listen to me. Goddamnit, listen to me. Look, Antwon killed Angie right in front of me and Army. He did it with our guns it...it's what I came to talk to you about.

Vic

Thought you had nothing to do with Antwon.

Shane

It's nothing that we haven't done before. Look, he's squeezing us. He says the body will turn up if, if, if I don't... But, I would never do that. Never! You know that! Look, I was just bluffing him to buy time. We took a run at Halpern, he showed us where Angie's body was, but we can't get to it just the two of us. Army's gun went off... Look, Halpern's still alive. But once Antwon finds out, I'm dead. I got Mara and Jackson out of town, but I'm....look I'm in trouble man. I don't know how it got this deep.

Vic

[Vic puts down his gun] You got one shot. [Motions to Shane's gun] TAKE IT.

Shane

No. No. I would never choose him over you. We let that Money train bullshit get in the way, but... come-on you're my friend. [Vic points the gun back at Shane] Look, I need you. Will you help me? [Vic slowly puts his gun down]

Shane

Here you got it all, don't ya'? You got money. You got power. RESPECT!

Antwon

The hillbilly's been listenin' to my speeches.

Shane

It's too bad about your son, though. Tell you what, if my boy turned out to be a fag, I don't know what I would do. [Pauses] They say you're born that way. You doin' his mother out the ass when you knocked her up?

Antwon

One time, doin' time, for a long time.

Shane

That poor little kid. He's gonna be found face down, in the shower, with a back full of shiv and an ass full of cum. Word hits the street, what's that gonna make you look like, huh? I mean, your people don't cop with the homo vibe.

Antwon

My people... ain't your worry.

Shane

Yeah? But you know with all that money, all that power, at the end of the day, you're still just a nigger! With a faggot nigger son! And where's the respect in that?! HUH? Where's the respect in that?!

Antwon

[Sits down and puts the cuffs back on.] Now... what were you sayin' about my nigger faggot son?

Have you ever been unfaithful to your wife?

Shane

No.

Shane

Eatin' ain't cheatin'.

Shane

I like my women tiny.

Tina

So your dick fits better?

Vic

Still no Lem?

Shane

Left a second message. He's probably knee-deep in a booty call.

Ronnie

Hope he's gettin' the cop discount.

Shane

Yeah, I hear yours charges by the minute.

Ronnie

Hey, I get mine for free.

Vic

Must be seeing a charity worker.

Vic

Ah. You must be Doomsday.

Who are you?

Vic

I'm Armageddon. Say hello to the hounds of hell.

Shane

Ruff.

Shane

No, it can't be that easy.

Vic

He's an ex-con from Mexico, it damn well could be.

Jackpot.

Ronnie

You tell Leon he's in the clear?

Shane

Yeah, freak tried to hug me.

Vic

But you insisted on the blowjob.

Vic

There's someone I want you to meet.

Shane

Who? [Turns around and sees Becca talking on her phone] She's that lawyer chick right?

Vic

Yeah.

Shane

You hitting that?

Vic

No, I hired that.