Danny Sofer quotes from The Shield

Bienvenido a La Vida!

Julien

What's he saying?

Danny

Welcome to the life.

Danny

Where the hell were you last night?

Julien

What do you mean?

Danny

Detective Crowley got shot. I left you a message.

Julien

Yeah, I got it.

Danny

So?

Julien

So...you didn't say anything about me having to come down.

Danny

I shouldn't have to. A fellow officer was dying in that hospital.

Julien

I said a prayer for him.

Danny

A prayer?

Julien

Yeah.

Julien

What? I've been on the job three weeks, I didn't even know that guy.

Danny

Rule number one, he was a cop. That means you knew him.

Danny

[knocking on door] You called the police?

In here.

Danny

Police in the house.

You got here.

Julien

What's wrong ma'am?

Well, my daughter left, and I need my medicine.

Julien

What medicine?

For my arthritis. It's over there.

Danny

You called us for your arthritis medicine?

In the brown bottle over there. hand it to me.

Danny

Ma'am, 911 is for emergencies.

Well, this is an emergency to me.

Danny

[opens the pill bottle] How many?

Two. [stares at Danny]

Danny

What?

Well, would it kill you to get me a glass of water?

So I'm a suspect just because I'm Arab?

Danny

No, sir, you're a suspect because 19 guys who look like your twin brother killed 3,000 Americans.

It's illegal to carry bugspray?

Danny

It is when you're trying to blind people with it.

Yeah, well you're all bugging me.

Dutch

You see something like that, you wonder if we all shouldn't just stay home and read the bible.

Danny

Thanks, my partner already does that.

Hello, you've reached the Police Department's main switchboard. Please listen carefully to the following options. To be connected to a supervisor, because one of our jackbooted thugs mistreated you, and you want his goddamn badge, press one.

Ronnie

Cop I know sent it to me.

If you committed a crime you think you can bullshit your way out of, press two. [Cops laugh]

Ronnie

It's great, isn't it?

Vic

If you shut up and let us listen.

If you're shirtless and threatening your girlfriend with a knife, and don't want one of our officers interfering with "true love," press three.

Danny

Priceless.

To report an act of racial profiling, put down your crack pipe and press four. [group laughs] If you can't locate one of your seven unsupervised, fatherless children, press five.

Rawling

You've cost this city tens of thousands of dollars in clean-up.

Send me a bill.

Rawling

We will, but you tell me who's planning this war with Poolboys, who's giving you these messages, I can make things better. [To Danny] Bring her something to eat while she thinks it over.

Burger and fries.

Danny

Settle a bet first. What's Raga stand for?

Righteous Angel, Gorgeous Ass.

Rawling

I don't admire the artwork, but I gotta admire the confidence.

Vic

Big chief. Vic needum new driving machine, so he can catchum bad guy.

Danny

Knew you had some Spanish. Didn't know you knew smoke signals.

Rawling

[about two missing officers] Anything?

Danny

Canvassed the whole area, there's nothing.

Rawling

Ohh shit.

Julien

Went knocking, half the people weren't answering their door, the other half were sleeping.

Rawling

Let me use your radio. [Danny hands her the radio] Staff, Nine-Tango, I'm Code 6 on Alexandria Circle. Be advised, we have two officers unaccounted for, requesting Attack Alert. All watches will be held over.

Copy that.

Julien

We should notify the families.

Danny

Hey, Dutch. Do you have a minute?

Dutch

Um, let me go first. What happened last night--we were both vulnerable, and a little lonely. One time thing between good friends. No reason for us to get all uncomfortable.

Danny

There's a guy here, says he killed his wife.

Dutch

Oh, uh, okay. Well, I better--I better get on that. Wouldn't want him to kill anybody else's wife.