Steve Billings quotes from The Shield

Billings

I love the smell of underage sexual assault in the morning. [Dutch and Claudette give him a look] I didn't mean that the way it came out.

Billings

[to Dutch] One thing I've learned from that sack of conspiracy theories you call a head, the Wagenbach freak meter points to red--you listen.

Billings

Bathroom. Family of four drown one by one.

Rawling

Damn.

Vic

Welcome back to Farmington.

Billings

Hey, be careful with that! It's a sophisticated piece of machinery!

It's a vending machine. You put money in, shit comes out.

Billings

It's a gourmet quick mealer, asshole!

Billings

I like Ronnie. He's quiet. There's something there. Wouldn't mind doing a little Strike Team time myself. Fall into the shit, get the blood moving.

Dutch

Yeah. It's too bad you get those headaches.

Billings

You know, you're very sarcastic. I forgot to list that one.

Dutch

What about Tina, she out sick?

Claudette

No. She transferred out.

Billings

Finally make your move? Scare Hanlon and her bikini briefs out the door?

Dutch

[referring to Tina] Helping her improve her skills had nothing to do with any interest in her.

Billings

Right.

Dutch

She happens to have talent, even if others don't see it yet.

Billings

Face it. You took advantage of her vulnerability just like our mystery psycho. Except your drug of choice was power and the false hope of career advancement.

Dutch

Th--, uh, that's ridiculous.

Billings

You have a reputation, Holland. Chasing unies, Mackey's ex. Wives of murder victims. I think a profiler would call that a pattern of shitting where you eat.

Billings

You know, Dutch, I could teach you a few things about women, if you want.

Dutch

Why don't you write them down, and I can read them at my leisure.

Billings

I'll be back, all right--putting in my required hours, mandatory paper work. But as far as effort goes, I don't know what's between zero and the city mandate minimum, but from now on, let's call that the Billings.

Claudette

Can't we just call it business as usual?

Billings

Oh, here it is.

Dutch

[reads Billings's note] "Lorena Francisco. All right, great rack?" Well, this sounds like your notes.

Billings

She said she was with Hector the night of the murder, and I do recall she had great tits.

Dutch

Young woman got her head bashed in. You're not disturbed by the apathy?

Billings

Why don't you take a look around you? We've been standing in the hot sun for how long now, and we are right where we started. So if you got some magic beans in your Detective bag of tricks that'll make these people give a shit, why don't you start planting them?

Dutch

He stood there and watched somebody die like it was nothing. There's speculation Bundy's first murders were committed in his early teens. They gain reinforcement the more crimes they get away with. Gain power, their methods improve.

Billings

Wait a minute. I buy the setup theory. But you're saying this kid's a serial killer?

Dutch

They all pop their cherry somewhere.

Dutch

A profile--male, highly intelligent, unstable family, piss-poor student, abandoned by his father.

Billings

The Mom's got a big old Dutch-boy crush. Obviously a couple of genetic screws loose.

Tina

You guys want him when we're through?

Dutch

Steve?

Billings

I'm a little busy here. Any naked girls show up, though, you give me a holler?