Shane Vendrell quotes from The Shield

Dutch

You want me to fly solo?

Shane

Nah, man, looks like this is the only action I'm gonna get today.

Dutch

Excuse me?

Shane

You know the "I lost my husband tragically but I'm still young and hot and in need of an emotional release" kind of sex. Whoo!

Dutch

You're kidding, right?

Shane

What? Oh, you never covered some accident or homicide and gone back a month later for a "statement"? [laughs] This one's been hanging on the vine for a year, man--she is ripe!

Dutch

Let me draw you a picture, Sean. This is your aunt’s house. This is the porch. And this, this is the crawlspace Pasadena PD just dug two bodies out of. How many more are we gonna find, Sean? Five? Ten?

[scoffing] 17.

Claudette

17?

Shane

[watching on TV with the entire force, all in shock] Jesus Christ.

That's just under the crawl space, you know? The other ones I dumped. I ran out of room under my aunt's house.

Dutch

It's pathetic.

What is?

Dutch

How typical you are. Soon as you're caught, you try to be special.

I killed 22 people. 23, if you wanna count the hunting accident back in Rockford. Oh, I'm special, all right.

Dutch

If you're so special, how come a lowly civil servant like me just caught you?

Vic

What'd you get on Gilroy?

Shane

Checked out that hideaway in the hills...

Vic

And?

Mistress never checked in to those bungalows.

Vic

Another lie. What the hell is he doing?

Maybe he stashed her someplace else.

Shane

Or slashed her someplace else.

Vic

Oh, Jesus Christ!

I always took Gilroy for a quiet drunk.

Shane

It's the quiet ones you gotta worry about. [edit]

[about a rooster] Hey, man, where they taking him?

Shane

Three little letters... KFC.

Vic

What the hell are you doing?

Shane

I'm not doing anything that we weren't doing before. I'm just pumping things up a level.

Vic

And what level is that? Prison?

Vic

All right, where's my investment now?

Shane

It's all tied up in the coke shipment.

Vic

That coke that had Tio's guy bleeding from every orifice?

Vic

I need that money!

Shane

Yeah! Well, we all do.

Vic

No, I need it now to get back my kids!

Shane

What are you talking about?

Vic

THEY'RE GONE SHANE! Corrine took them, they disappeared.

Shane

Do you know what "Officer Involved Shooting" means? It means we're all involved.

Julien

I told the truth.

Shane

Hey, when it comes to your partner's career, truth is like grits. You don't serve it up plain, pour the salt on it! God-damn rookies.

Shane

Aceveda seems pissed.

Vic

[grins] Just like old times.

I keep hiding his chair on him.

Vic

You're starting already?

Every house needs a rube.

Shane

And you're anointing this guy?

[about Ronnie's skin graft] They took the skin from his ass!

Ronnie

Left cheek and upper-thigh

Shane

Oh, these jokes are just writing themselves.

Vic

The law only allows us so much latitude. These guys have rights too. I'm a cop. I have to honor that.

Well I'm not a cop.

Vic

That's true. Just the father looking out for his son. [William runs across the street] You check this guy for a weapon?

Shane

Yeah, patted him down.

Vic

Good, this guy is just looking for his kid. So let's be ready. [watches William pound on the door and punch the guy inside] Oh, that's a felony in progress...

Vic

What were you thinking?

Shane

Hey where I come from, when a guy's lady jams him up, his buddies go have a talk with her.

Vic

Not in the middle of the night, Jethro.

What the hell they talking about?

Shane

Like I speak European Hick.

They killed these Armenians looking for our money train cash.

Shane

This means they still think it was an inside job.

Ronnie

What happens when they run out of feet and realize it was an outside job?

Vic

There's only four people who know we took that money, and they're all sitting right here. Stick to the plan.

Trish

That one's a natural undercover cum guzzler.

Shane

I heard that, bitch.