Vic Mackey quotes from The Shield

Vic

That's funny. I don't recall having signed up for an ethics lesson from a scumbag defense lawyer.

Vic

[to Dutch] Go get a sandwich, Dutchboy.

Vic

[Listening to the Armenians] Huh... the Armenians... speak Armenian.

Vic

Hey, captain. Didn't see you there. Someone should put a bell around your neck.

Vic

[Shoving a guy's face into his dead brother's face] Here, you wanna see your brother? Here, kiss your brother.

Vic

[Confronting Shane about an ill-advised sexual tryst he had with a suspect] I was doing a little channel surfing up in observation. I didn't know we got The Spice Network!

Vic

[to David about a reporter] This one will cut your hands off and smile sweetly as she asks you to clap louder.

Vic

If I'm gonna be a crooked cop, I've at least got to be honest about it!

Vic

Hey, let's remember where this Armenian money's coming from. Prostitution, drugs, robberies-- and the rest of this cash is just gonna finance more of the same. They didn't earn it, I don't feel bad about taking it.

Vic

[fights with the hooker and puts a gun to her mouth.] Take it. [The hooker opens her mouth and "takes" the gun.] Don't worry about Smooth. He's my bitch. That makes you my bottom bitch. YOU GOT THAT?!

Vic

Oops! Next time I won't knock so hard. Put your clothes on, walk out the door and change your taste in men.

Vic

Me no speakee Ebonee, Shithead!

Vic

[to Prophet Leader] Twizzy will be in county 'till his hearing. That'll give you a few weeks to get someone inside. Stop the pain. Anything after that, commit any sins, I'll be nailing you to a cross.

Vic

[Shoves gun in Armenian's face] You tried to get us killed you little prick. Alright. [Ronnie points gun at Armenian, Vic shuts the door, slams pen and pad of paper on table] Write. WRITE! L-I-F-E. New word. [shoves gun on forehead] NEW WORD! S-U-X. Ronnie, open that window. [Ronnie opens window, Vic puts note in Armenian's pocket] Looks like you're gonna die a bad speller.

Vic

[To Aceveda] Hey, press conference hasn't started yet. You still got time to figure out how to take credit for all this!