Jon Kavanaugh quotes from The Shield

Kavanaugh

Why is it that the guy with the conscience always gets caught holding the bag? And we don't ever want that guy, do we? We want the guy that put him into motion.

Kavanaugh

[about Billings] No wonder these guys get away with murder, the Captain's more concerned with the sandwich machine than he is with personnel.

Kavanaugh

And Mackey skates clean? This guy... this guy is just pissing... just pissing all over us, and we just smile and lick it up? Vic Mackey kills cops! He... he deals drugs! He beats suspects! You know what he did yesterday? He... he screwed my ex-wife with the sole purpose of making this investigation seem like a personal vendetta. He may have assassinated a gang leader. And that's just all in one day. I wonder what he's going to do today. I wonder what he's going to do tomorrow. This guy... this guy is just pissing... he's pissing all over us. He's pissing on you. What does it taste like? Chief, what does it taste like, 'cause you know what, it tastes like piss to me!

Kavanaugh

[when they realize that Lem is dead] Are you happy now, Detective Mackey?

Kavanaugh

[to Claudette] At least I have Mackey out of my life. He's not my problem anymore. He's yours.

Kavanaugh

We've both been through enough of these. So I can be straight with you. Yeah?

Sure

Kavanaugh

Every guilty suspect that you've ever interviewed started with... Denial. Right?

So did the innocent ones.

Who says there is never police around when we need them, hmm?

Vic

Who says that?

Kavanaugh

[listening via planted bug] Yeah, who says?

Aceveda

I’m Chairman of the Police Committee. This is a fight you don’t want.

Kavanaugh

I didn’t want any of it. But I’m here… and I’m staying.

Kavanaugh

There are rules.

Then break one.

Kavanaugh

What I do is stop cops from breaking the rules. I can’t stop them if I can’t stop myself.

Then try bending one just once.

Kavanaugh

I’m an Internal Affairs Lieutenant. That’s, that's who I am.

Kavanaugh

I never authorized the use of a wire.

Vic

Well I know how much you love them. Figured I'd try one for a change.

Kavanaugh

How do I know you even have s--t on these guys?

Antwon

Shane Vendrell. I could bury this banjo playing asshole. Bitch likes to talk… the walk, but if you put a boot on his throat, his eyes tear up like a little bitch. And bitches, they give up their buddies. That’s what makes them bitches!

Corrine

What did I do to deserve this?

Kavanaugh

You married the wrong man, Corrine.

Kavanaugh

Seen this guy?

Yeah, he came through

Kavanaugh

Are you OK?

Why do you care?

Kavanaugh

Did he hurt you?

You're the only one who ever hurts me, John... That's not gonna happen again.

Kavanaugh

I just.. Can you just.. Tell me what he did, just tell me what happened. Just, what'd he do?

What did he do? Well, he made me cum. That's what he did.

Kavanaugh

Pretty soon there is gonna be a lonely room filled with empty lockers, huh?

You and me are the only ones on the way out. I just cut a deal with the D.A.

Kavanaugh

What deal’s that?

Why don’t you ask the Chief? It’s sitting on his desk waiting for his signature.

Vic

He’ll be out on parole before the blood rushes back to your face.

Kavanaugh

What are you doing here?

Vic

You got Emolia to lie for you.

Kavanaugh

Now you know the difference between a lie and a truth?

Vic

You think I'm a cop killer. Maybe I am. You're a cop, right?

Kavanaugh

That sounds like a direct threat on my life, Detective. You know what that means?

Vic

It means you just stepped onto an entirely new playing field. And for your sake, I hope you know the rules of the game.