Shane Vendrell quotes from The Shield

Shane

Looks like you wandered into the wrong prayer group there, Frosty.

Shane

[while guarding a witness] Instead of playing poker, we should be playing poke her.

Shane

[Looking at Van Bro's paintings] Where in the Bible does St. Schlong visit Our Lady of the D-cup?

Shane

Besides, we're still going to need somebody to mow our lawns after this race war is over.

Shane

[After beating up Halpern] You know what? Tell Antwon there's a new scoop law. [Pointing to Halpern] Come pick up his dog shit.

Shane

[to Halpern] You tell Antwon, I'm done with his shit! All of it! He tries to come after us, my family, or Vic...I'll walk up to him and I'll put a bullet in his head. You got that? YOU GOT THAT?!

Shane

So we close a triple murder before breakfast, start a race war before dinner. That's a pretty good day.

Shane

[after killing Lem with a grenade] I'm sorry...I'm sorry, buddy...I'm so sorry, buddy...Lem! Lem, I'm sorry! But I had to, right? But you know I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, man...buddy...oh God...

Shane

[to Vic] Now, anything happens to me or my wife or my son... even my mailman, anybody that I am close to, this lands on IAD's doorstep. Just imagine every wrong, brutal thing we have ever done. It's hard to do, isn't it? We've done so many.

Shane

[to Mara] Vic and Ronnie tried to kill me tonight. Yeah, they set me up. It's sheer luck I'm even alive right now. And, you know, the worst part is ... they think I'm too stupid to even realize it.

That is the hottest chick there ever was, man!

Her? That's a par. Got me another in Detroit, goddamn BIRDIE.

Shane

Big deal, she's probably spread her legs for half the league.

Too bad you can't make a jump shot.

Shane

We killed a cop.

Vic

Get over it, don't bring it up again.

Vic

You stopped to get laid? What the hell were you thinking?

Shane

About getting laid.

Vic

We're trying to prevent a war, not start one!

Shane

The guy was being a pain in the ass!

Vic

You've been a pain in the ass lately! Should I take a piss on you?

What you sweating me for? I'm a cop.

Shane

Slow down. Slow down. Right here. Hands behind your head.

I didn't do nothing.

Shane

Ever? Or in the last 10 minutes, Kunta Kinte?

Suck my dick.

Shane

What'd you say? Suck your what?

Screw you.