Yeah, so like now if someone tries to light you on fire or chop off your penis or something, they go to jail, instead of like getting a trophy. I think it's good.
I heard from the Robertsons that their maid has been stealing from them.
FFrancine
That's the problem with illegal immigrants; they come here to steal from us.
Sarah
Look here old lady. God did not create illegal immigrants for us to insult, he created them for us to enjoy. Now, my maid cleans my entire apartment for almost nothing and she does it with a smile on her face. Or something on her...well I don't know what a frown looks like in Spanish.
FFrancine
You're just young and uniformed. Illegal immigrants bring crime and perversion and disease into this country.
Sarah
Madame you sicken me and if there was an N-word for old women who play tennis I would use it on you but good.
Ms. Silverman the nation of Mongolia is demanding 100 million dollars. What are you seeking in your counter-suit?
Sarah
Well, I'm certainly not asking for 100 million freaking dollars. Uh, I really just want an apology and uh, for them to change Mongolian beef to sexual predator beef. I also wouldn't mind my face on their dollar, but that's more of, like a bargaining chip.
RReporter
What do you have to say to those people who may view your demands as weird?
Sarah
Well, there was once a people who demanded 40 acres and a mule so I guess we're all kind of weird.
These are words we all say every single day. Squeak a Henry. Talk to the hand. Chillax. Ozay. What's that? You've never heard of "ozay"? Huh. Maybe it's because I just made it up. Congratulations everybody. You are witness to history in the making today. Because "ozay" is going to be greatest thing since saying "the greatest thing since sliced bread". She said that to you? Ozay! How much did that cost? O-zay! The waitress forgot to bring your bacon? Ozay!
[Steve adjusts his glasses while holding a pen, making a dot on the tip of his nose]
The Sarah Silverman Program. · 31 quotes
Sarah
